Do I worry about nothing?
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Do I worry about nothing?
| Sun, 08-08-2004 - 12:40pm |
I bet this is a classical question because I guess this is a classical fear between women... and it's about the ex-girlfriend. I'm in a 10 month relationship with a wonderfull guy. He came to my university as an exchange student and of course, he left a girlfriend in his country, they were together for 3 months before he left, but it seems that it was a pretty intense romance. We started to get to know each other, but I knew he had a girlfriend so I kept my space, but little by little we fell in love and started to go out. He told his ex-girlfriend about me and they broke up. But since she had plans of coming to visit him she continued with her plans and came in december to travel, they met for one day and talked and he decided he wanted to go on with our relationship so they definitely broke up.
Now his one year program ended and he is back in his country (Austria). I applied to a graduate program in his university and I'm still waiting to get accepted, but our plans are to meet in about a month. So I guess this is really silly but I AM nervous about him seeing her again. What do you guys think? I'm I right to be nervous or is this just really stupid?
Normally I don't worry about ex- girlfriends but this one has me a little nervous just because their relationship ended up because of me and not because something didn't work out. It makes a difference if you brake up with someone because the relationship isn't working, or if you just decide you want to be with someone else.
Please help me to calm down my heart, because my brain just tells me this is really silly. How do guys see their relationship with their ex-girlfriends?
Now his one year program ended and he is back in his country (Austria). I applied to a graduate program in his university and I'm still waiting to get accepted, but our plans are to meet in about a month. So I guess this is really silly but I AM nervous about him seeing her again. What do you guys think? I'm I right to be nervous or is this just really stupid?
Normally I don't worry about ex- girlfriends but this one has me a little nervous just because their relationship ended up because of me and not because something didn't work out. It makes a difference if you brake up with someone because the relationship isn't working, or if you just decide you want to be with someone else.
Please help me to calm down my heart, because my brain just tells me this is really silly. How do guys see their relationship with their ex-girlfriends?

I guess my first question is - where you planning to go to his university all along, or did you decide to go there because of him? Reason why I'm asking is because I think you definitely do have something to worry about. Been there, done that. I decided not to go to a college away from home because of a guy. Though we did get engaged, it didn't last. I missed out on a lot of opportunities because I stayed closer to home and I definitely regret it.
Have you had a chance to meet his family & friends from home? He may be a turn out to be a totally different person when he's around them. Not to mention, he may be seeing someone else by the time you get to the university. As horrible as that sounds, there is always that possibility. Especially since he left someone else for you.
My concern here is actually you moving to his country for school. Is it solely for him, to be close to him? What if he breaks it off with you once you move there, then what? Suddenly you're in a new country stuck there with no one you know. Unless you want to go there because you A)really love the school and couldn't do the program anywhere else B)are really interested in living in that place C)think that you would meet some great new people and D)would NOT be living WITH him then by all means go.
Just be cautious, and see how things go.