do me and my ex have a chance
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do me and my ex have a chance
| Sun, 08-08-2004 - 5:05pm |
I started met him in 2002. In the beginning he was interested in me but I wasnt interested in him. I got to know him and saw that he was shy but really a nice guy. I took the time in getting to know him. A year went by, and we got together. Our relationship was the best. Everyone was jealous of how great our relationship was. We spent everyday together. That is when I found out there was a secret he was keeping from me. There was this other girl I didnt know about. This other girl was actually seeing him before I was. I didnt find out until he was taking a shower at my house and he recieved a text message. I checked it since I thought It was odd he recieved text messages. It was from that other girl. I was upset and confronted him and he denied everything. I called the other girl and she said they were talking for 2 years. She said she was pregnant by him but had an abortion. He denied it for several weeks thaen confessed. I was devestated but wanted to work it out since I cared about him so much and we got along so well. The "other girl" stopped calling. I then needed to gain his trust back so I asked to answer his calls whenever I wanted to. A month after he cheated on me, it happened again. This girl also said she was talking to him for 2 years. She also said she was pregnant with his baby. I didnt know what to do. He explained that this girl liked him and she wouldnt get the hint to leave him alone. He also said she was making up the pregnancy thing up. I still wanted to work it out because our relationship was too precious to end. He told both girls to leave him alone and I told him to change his phone number which he did. Ever since those 2 incidents I havent been able to forgive him just because he hid it so well and feel like he will do it again. As of today we still see each other almost everyday but I feel like he is still decieving me behind my back, even when I ask him if he is seeing anyone he says no. He tells me he doesnt want to get back with me because i dont trust him and he wants his space. I dont understand what that means because he wont leave me but we are intimate and we spend alot of time together. I feel we are together. please help me!!!!

You are losing respect for yourself. You need to cut him lose. Have some self pride and respect and drop kick him to the curb. You'll end up hurting yourself in the long run, if you continue to be with him. Let him have his space, so he can deal with his problems, since he has many issues and needs to resolve them with no distractions. He is not a good man, and you will not know how to react to one when you do meet him if you continue to see this cheater
the first thing I would do if I was you, is to end this relationship (& that means, no spending time together, & definitely- no sex).
You have to understand that if you keep taking him back, on his terms (like you're doing right now), you will never be able to repair that trust.
first, you need time to work on you, & what made you stay with him for this long.
other than that, you'll need to get over it, & forgive him (& that doesn't mean getting back together! it only means getting over the bad feelings you have for him).
in the mean time, he would have to prove to you that he can/ should be trusted. & it takes much much more than changing his number. he would most definitely have to admit all he's done & understand that it was wrong!!! if he does, you might concider taking him back. just know that even if all this happens, it would take alot of time, & alot of hard work to repair. just ask yourself if he (& the relationship) are really worth it.
This guy is a loser, forget him.
Get yourself tested for STDs and even though you're not old enough, insist on a HPV test...how long will your love for him last if he's passed on warts and your pap smears show precancerous cells? Is your love for him so strong that you'll forgive him ruining your cervix?
You KNOW what he is. He may change his behavior for someone else, but right now he doesn't even want to be with you. He has no remorse for the damage he's done. He doesn't want to be with you because you remind him how good he had it and how he blew it. DOn't have sex with him. there are so many other men out there to willing to show you a good time that haven't hurt you.