Do you always get butterflies?
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Do you always get butterflies?
| Wed, 10-05-2005 - 3:42pm |
I'm just wondering-do you think that if you really like a guy/girl when you start going out with them you should have that feeling of butterflies in your stomach?
A guy I went out a date with last night was great, very funny, nice, pretty cute, but I don't get butterflies.
I would love to know what other people think.

I went out with a guy once and it was INSTANT butterflies. Total fireworks! The problem with that relationship though was that it moved too quickly and resulted in an ugly, painful crash and burn.
Fast forward to now - I'm dating a new guy, been dating him a month or so. At first I was attracted to him (looks-wise), and thought he was nice. Now, the more I get to know him, the better I like him. Only NOW I'm starting to get little butterfly flutters when I think about him.
I'm hoping that a slow burn will beat out the fireworks. I've heard that when it develops slowly, sometimes it can make for a more enduring relationship. In my case, it remains to be seen, but it can happen.
Attraction is definitely important but one does not have to feel it in the very initial stages.
Paraphrasing from a good book I have:
"Are you The One for me". Knowing who's right and avoiding who's wrong. by Barbara De Angelis.
If you are not "instantly" attracted to them when you meet them, it does not necessarily mean that you won't "become" attracted to them as you get to know them better. The attraction shouldn't just be based on how your partner looks, but also who he is and how you feel about yourself when you are with him. And for this reason, gradual attraction may actually be more genuine than "lust at first sight". You are attracted to the "whole person".
Quoting one more para:
"It was only after getting to know what he was like on the inside and developing a powerful emotional, mental, and spiritual resonance that the feelings of sexual attraction began to emerge."
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This book made me realize that we have the habit of looking for instant attraction.
from my own experience, the guy i fell madly in love with many years ago, i was "absolutely" neutral about in the first few meetings. Perhaps because he "seemed" so different from me. But things changed drastically as we kept meeting and spending time together.
So, I would say, if he seems like a nice person, give him more time, and see whether things develop further to your satisfaction.
I agree with Sherry.
Start
Over two years later, I can't say that the 'butterflies' are as strong as they once were, but I am always looking forward to seeing him, enjoy every moment I spend with him, and his kiss still makes me melt.