Do you believe in Love at First Sight?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Do you believe in Love at First Sight?
5
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 9:57pm

I've been single for a while, dated a lot of men and recently I've met a man who is everything I've dreamed of. He is perfect (at least perfect for me). Our mental connection is incredible, and I've never felt so open and myself ever since my last serious relationship. He brought back a lot of feelings I've not felt in a long time, the most important thing is, I can just be myself around him.

The only thing is we've not even been together for a month, yet I feel like I've known him for longer than that. I know there's still a lot of things to find out about him, but am I being completely off the wall for thinking this might be the man I will marry one day? And he feels the same way towards me? I know a lot of it has to do with infactuation, Im well aware that true love cannot develop in a couple of weeks, but is it possible that sometimes you just "know" this is the one because your instincts tell you so?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 10:16pm

lovekatherine...

Pianoguy thinks there's a BIG DIFFERENCE between love at first sight...and really getting to know the person you think you're IN LOVE with? Right now, you're happy and enthusiastic about the man you're dating. So rather than fantasize about the future, what's wrong with enjoying the present?

One year from now...the 2 of you will have a better idea if there REALLY IS A FUTURE FOR YOU BOTH?

Here's hoping?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2006
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 9:35am

Dear lovekatherine,

I believe that it's perfectly possible to meet somebody and feel that you've known them all your life. There are many explanations for that, some suggesting past lives spent together, others simply explaining it through the mysterious paths of life which bring you exactly where you need to be. And this is here. With this guy.

As far as I correctly understand your question, it is not whether love at first sight exists (or whether somebody else believes in it), but rather is it ok to feel the way you do so soon after you've met. Correct me if I have interpreted your message wrongly. But if I am right, then my own answer is yes, it is ok. Saying that, I also support the opinion that you should live in the present and not put too much energy into fantasies about a possible future. Enjoy yourself and your man and have trust in your own being. General common sense usually is enough in situations where you might be tempted to think things are too good to be true or too soon to be good.

Best of luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2006
Fri, 07-21-2006 - 9:27am

Hi lovekatherine,
It is perfectly fine to feel that way. It's the way you feel, and that's the truth. But make sure that you don't load/pressure the other person with *expectations*. That's bound to come in when we think the world of them, and invest in them with all our being, and then expect something back too. It could lead to unnecessary resentments at this early stage. Finding that connection with someone is a GREAT thing you have on your hands. Cherish it, and enjoy your time spent with him, and most importantly, focus on getting to know him better, slowly and steadily. You might push him away (many guys are prone to feel this way when it becomes overwhelming to them and they feel pushed to make a decision) if you over-do it, so go slow. As more time passes, you will have more evidence to back what you had initially felt, and perhaps more evidence to correct what you initially thought of him. I believe an initial connection and feeling of love and that wanting-to-love feeling we have for someone is real, but it needs more time to mature into a deeper sort of love where we want to accept the person for who they are, even through several challenges and surfacing of characteristics we don't appreciate much. Only time will tell how strongly you will feel about him when he becomes more familiar to you than he is now, and when you get to know him a lot better....see his different traits, get to know his character, and the REAL him, and get to see whether you both are truly compatible.

Wish you the best!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Fri, 07-21-2006 - 7:31pm
You can know and you can hope...there is no real way to know for sure right now. Try to relax and enjoy the journey
,
,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Sat, 07-22-2006 - 12:42pm

I can't say whether "love at first sight" is possible or impossible simply because it never happened to me. But apparently, other people have experienced a deep connection with someone right from the start and the relationship endures. Personally, it has always taken me quite a while to feel real love for someone... and it doesn't happen easily for me.

I think it's more important to feel and believe that whatever feelings you have are mutual. If you both are experiencing an intense connection that seems like it is progressing toward commitment, that's great. You can only go with the flow, for now, and hope for continuing growth. One month is very early to make predictions about forever and marriage!

Be cautious about making plans for the future, just yet. Keep enjoying each other's company for what it offers right now. Tomorrow will take care of itself. And try to LEARN your man... especially to be sure you're not creating a fantasy situation in your head, with all the feelings on YOUR side of the street.

Good luck!