Do you think he wants to date?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Do you think he wants to date?
4
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 3:42pm

Met a guy... yeah, at a bar... last Saturday night. We had an instant connection, and even laughed about how ironic it really was that we met at THAT bar (the one you go to with your friends just to get sloshed and NEVER to meet people). My friends and I all go there because we are old college buddies with the bartender. Turns out the guy I met is friends with him too... from college. We started talking and know a LOT of the same people, and we have a lot in common regarding interests (textiles, architecture, restoration, golf...), so we exchanged numbers.

He never called. I finally texted him on Wednesday night after he never called, and it set off what will go down in history as a VERY romantic weekend (also my birthday weekend).

We texted all day Thursday and Friday until we finally went out to lunch on Friday. I dropped him off at work, and he ended up calling me a few hours later and we met for happy hour, which turned into hanging out with my friends for my birthday. Saturday morning he brought breakfast over to my house to help me nurse my birthday hangover. We went for a two hour hike/rock climbing (spontaneous eh?), then we went to a football game, I met his friends at their tailgate, then we went to another bar for a friends birthday. Sunday, he came over and we went to brunch and spent the rest of the day laying around/making out on my couch. He even came over last night for a few hours to hang out after work!

I guess I just ask because things seem to have gone from 0 to 90mph very quickly... and he wasn't even going to call! We've laughed already about his non-calling. He graciously lets me poke fun at him occasionally. And he often speaks of things he'd like to do together in the future. I'm starting to get VERY sexually attracted to this man, and am getting nervous that I might lose control and sleep with him before I'm 100% sure that this is heading in the direction I would like for it to go in.

Here's the weirdest part (he told me Friday night after I mentioned that I am also seeing someone else): an ex of his lives at his house. He says they broke up several years ago, and remained friends. When she moved to town, he offered to let her live at his place until she found somewhere to live, at which point she developed feelings for him. He did not reciprocate, and now he is trapped in an awkward situation until the end of the month when she moves out. I am not allowed to go to his house until then... huh? Because she will be very angry... ugh. And he is going out of town Friday afternoon to Mexico for work... my imagination is getting the better of me thinking that he's not being truthful about all this.

What do you think? Does this sound like he's into dating me or just making a pit stop in my bed? Feel free to opine.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 3:52pm

I think the story about the ex sounds *plausible*--I doubt he would have been able to spend so much time with you this weekend if they were currently in a relationship, unless of course she was out of town--but since the end of the month isn't very far off, perhaps you could wait to see him again until she has moved out.


As for whether he really wants to date you or just sleep with you, time will tell.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 12:14pm

It sounds like he likes you but he complicated his life by allowing this ex to move in with him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 12:53pm

I don't think I'll be able to avoid him until the end of September. But... I just glanced at my calendar and it appears that October 1 is approaching quickly. He'll be out of town until the middle of next week anyways. I think I can be strong. Internal rule: no sex until I can see the inside of his house... maybe even until I finish my triathlon. I think that's a better rule. I don't wanna mess up my athletic mojo. Plus, that will make it AT LEAST a month since meeting... Wow! Why does he gotta be so sexy??

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 6:35pm

"Plus, that will make it AT LEAST a month since meeting... Wow! Why does he gotta be so sexy??"


Sounds like a plan.