does he actually like me?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
does he actually like me?!
5
Sat, 12-11-2004 - 3:34am

hi everyone!

ive somehow managed to surf several boards (ivillage is great!) ... and i find myself here with a "dating" inquiry!

here goes:

i met this guy through a mutual friend a couple months ago. since then, him and i have hung out in a group atmoshere, and alone as well. about two weeks ago, he kissed me and things got *slightly* heavy. at one point, he says to me: "i think you and i should starting hanging out more - but in a dating kinda' way." the night was lovely (but no physical intimacy). the week following, he called me only twice and didnt respond to the text msgs that i had sent him.

and just as i was to give up on any hopes with him, he calls me and this past monday, i saw him again, and slept over this time. again, i had a great time. we talked (through text messaging) briefly the next day (tuesday), but since, i have not heard from him. it is now saturday morning.

is it safe for me to assume that this guy isnt really all that interested in me?? is it safe to conclude that he's just in it for a booty call?? should i ask him?? i was hoping that he actually liked me - i would have really liked to get to know him better! :( but i guess he doesnt, so, in which case, the next time he calls (if he does) - should i just ignore it??

thanks in advance
eeksj

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-11-2004 - 8:23am

eeksj...

Pianoguy doesn't want to criticize or hurt your feelings....but...YOU BLEW IT WHEN YOU SPENT THE NIGHT! His definition of "hanging out" is probably a little different yours, don't you think?

So when he needs a little TLC (aka physical intimacy)...you'll receive another invitation to "hang out" again! The question is: "Can you handle the rejection and lack of communication after your b/f gets what he wants?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
Sat, 12-11-2004 - 11:34am

well... that just sucks then !

i caved, and didnt mean to... in the moment, it seemed promising and i was caught up in him, and ... well there goes it! :S while i dont expect to be "serious" with this guy - i was REALLY hoping that he still respected me and that he was genuinely interested... :(

so what now?? im not interested in a "bed buddy" situation... id only like to continue to get to know him, if he is ACTUALLY has some sorta interest in me... so IF he calls again, what do i do?? should i ignore him? confront him??

ahhhh!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Sat, 12-11-2004 - 12:11pm
I wouldn't confront him. It's possible that he's interested but that things have been hectic in his life. If he wants to "hang out" again, then if you see him, don't have sex. If you don't have sex with him the next time you get together and he never calls again, then you'll know he didn't have any real interest.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Sun, 12-12-2004 - 4:51am
Cheers eeksi,
Bellina sends greetings! I quite agree with Kellyann in that if he does call,and asks you out,do so without getting too intimate(booty call) as one says.See if he wants to relate to you,not just sexually.You'll see if he'd be interested in getting to know you're personality,mutual interests,hobbies,goals,and a more intellectual level.If he's truly attracted to not just your sensuality,but on a deeper level,if this is what you desire too. I'd suggest also to go out,dinner,movies,other interests,and not stay over,til you know if you're wanting the same type of relationship,be it casual or more
serious. Best wishes-Bellina!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
Sun, 12-12-2004 - 3:26pm

a huge THANK YOU to everyone for their insight and two cents! - its been much appreciated...

im just SO confused about this guy - and its got my mind spinning! :S i just dont quite understand, i guess...i never expected something "serious" to start, rather - i just wanted to "date" him - keep it easy and go with the flow, kinda' thing. and i truly did believe that that was what he wanted as well. but seeing how he hasnt called me in almost a week now - im concluding NOT

but i just dont get it?? hes bestfriends with a good friend of mine - why would he play me??? he seems like an overall nice guy, i really didnt think he had potential to toy with me like that. furthermore, he did try to get to know me, and even let me get to know him - hec, he sat me down and showed me childhood pictures!! and to top it off, when i left his place last, he was feeling kinda sick - and so i said to him: "call me if you need anything." and he replies with: "ill call you regardless, but thanks though, thats nice of you." - DONT SAY YOURE GOING TO CALL IF YOURE NOT GOING TO! GRR...

so, given everything, its got me wondering if i should call him? if he's just busy? if anything?!? and not only has it got me thinking and thinking - moreover, its made me sad
:(

whoopie to the adventures of dating :P
eeksj