does he have commitment phobia?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
does he have commitment phobia?
4
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 4:55pm
Ive been dating him for almost 3 years - on and off. We get along good, sex is great, love his family etc. But he doesnt seem to want me hanging out with him and his buds. I recall being invited to numerous events and at the first sign that Im gonna show he seems to come up with a million excuses why I wouldnt enjoy myself if I came along. Do I trust him? Kindof - he doesnt answer his phone when Im at his place, screens his phone calls and is still in contact with female friends he doesnt tell me about. Yes, I snooped - did star69 on a call he got at 1am on a saturday night and it was a girl from his past. Ive broken up with him and then he begs me to come back, I still have feelings for him so I do. Then when Im back with him all this stuff starts again and he gives me the feeling that whether Im there or not , it doesnt make a difference to him. Urrrgghhh Help. Any advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 7:32pm
This guy doesn't have any commitments issues, his problem is that he's not interested in seriously dating you or anyone else for that matter. He dates several women casually because he doesn't want any responsability. He enjoys the sex and friendship and nothing more. He hang out with his friends and goes to at night to you for great sex. He's a dog. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. This man has kept you for 3 years in an empty relationship that you stay in despite all the lies and red flags. I wouldn't put up with this guy anymore. He can lie to and cheat on his other GFs.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 8:46pm
I know exactly what your going through. I am also in a hopeless relationship. I have also wasted three years with him. Although I think I am finally ready to walk away from it. I too am always left out and my boyfriend is always with his "boys". I just sit around wondering how much he could really care about me. Face it girl. They are players. I want a normal guy that puts me first and is my partner in LIFE, not just in SEX. I am ready to move on and I hope you are too. Life is too short to spend it with someone who isn't loving you back. You don't wanna wake up being 40 with no kids or husband, just a good for nothing dude who's sleeping with every chick who looks at him twice. Please don't settle for that, guys like him don't change. Best Wishes!!

~*~ Haley ~*~
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 8:05am
Hi

This has been going on for 3 years???!!

What would you say to a friend in your situation about the trustworthiness and commitment ability of this man. That is what you should tell yourself.

The more times you go back the more he feels he can get away with whatever he wants!

,
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 9:40am
A) You don't trust him

B) You two can't stay in a consistent relationship yes it's been 3 yrs but it's been off and on that entire time

C) he doesn't like to involve you with his friends


Too many red flags in this relationship, I'd be out the door FOR GOOD.