Does he know what I want really?
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| Sun, 03-11-2007 - 6:53pm |
My bf and I been so intimate for more than a year now. He set me to his schedule and to his daughter that until now I haven't met and his parents doesn't know me . His bestfriend in highschool knew me,and some of his friends. He is not shy or hiding me around going to parties, malls or going around. He told me that his daughter knows me and already see me in picture but we haven't meet. I wan't to settle down. A single like me who is 36 is really cannot wait to have a family of my own. I work on hard on this to work the relationship, we're happy going out but I want more than that like a family. He told me that he is serious with me and it will takes time that soon I will meet her daughter..that promise was since January and now is March. I don't know until when I should wait or I don't know what is the right to tell him that will convince him to decide when I already told him that we need to move to a certain level...I was so open with him,to my friends and from my family..I'm so proud of him. Help me on what should I do.

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There are soo many parents that introduce their kids to significant others too quick in my opinion. Children are incredibly sensitive and need stability in their lives. Coming from a seperated home is tough enough, much less meeting all the girlfriends. He's protecting his baby, so cut him some slack. Instead, realize that this is a wonderful trait. My guess is you're curious as to where the relationship is going and ready to move to the next step. He MAY not be ready so don't push the issue. Everybody moves at a different pace and accepting that makes you the best girlfriend ever. It doesn't mean that he doesn't love you, just means he's different than you, which is probably why you love him most!
Be patient and don't worry...
What he is saying and what he is doing are two different things. My guess is your man likes very much the way things are and he is not interested in having you meet his parents and daughter.
I'd suggest a frank discussion and telling him that "maybe next month" isn't working for you anymore. Tell him he needs to be very honest with you and if marriage and family are not in his plans in the near future he MUST tell you. You may not like what you hear but it will give you the opportunity to move on.
Myself, I feel after one year of dating you should pretty much know where you stand. He's saying one thing and doing another. This man is not giving you answers that you want. Frankly, I don't put much weight in the "I've been burned in the past" routine. I'm also not completely convinced his daughter doesn't want to meet you, and besides, why would anyone let an 11 year old control their actions?
Think hard about wasting any more of you valuable time with this one.
Do you really want to be with a person who realizes your importance when you're gone? Wouldn't you rather be with someone who knows how valuable you are while they are with you???
This relationship isn't working for you. It isn't about him, it's about you. Do you truly want to have to manipulate people to get what you want? What will work for you?
"Do you think he will realize now that I'm gone?"
Probably not, he's happy with the way things are and is not interested in changing. I would write him an email and tell him that since he is unable to introduce you to his daughter and parents, and unable to set a timeline for a greater committment, then you are going to be moving on with your life. Wish him luck in the future. This way he knows that you are making the decision to take control of things. If he is going to change his tune this will give him the opportunity to do so.
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