does he lilke me

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2004
does he lilke me
2
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 9:47pm
Hello, i have known this guy for 10 mths, he works for my family business. He is 33 and i am 23. I went out with him for about 4 mths and everythign was great, we had a ton of fun and went out alot, talked on teh phone etc./ then i got back with my ex for 3 months that ended. well so i started talking to brian again and we started hanging out, he told me how much he misses me and that he likes me. we had sex and then he told me that he is scared of getting close to him, bcuz he was married before and she cheated on him for over a year and tehy got divorced. so now when we aer together he flirts with me and tells me he likes me, kisses me etc. but then it is like pulling teeth to get him to go out again. i know he is so used to being by himself *his mom and dad aare both dead and has no siblings* i just dont understand why he tells me he jsut wants to be friends but then kisses me adn tells me he likes me. i really dont know what to do from here. i know he is not a player and doesnt want to hurt me, he really is a great guy. he told me that he needed time to get over the fact taht he was going to be by himself forever, and that if wea are meant to be then we will happen. but how is that possible if he makes it so hard, and we he does open up and get close he pulls away. it is like he takes one step forward adn two back.

i really do like him a lot, and i am pretty sure he does too. but how do i get him to open up and jsut go with the flow liek before when we dated.

Please someone give me advice

Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 9:56pm
Why are you allowing someone to kiss you and have the pleasure of your company when he is letting his so called fears take priority over getting close to you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 10:07pm
He is sending you mixed signals and messing with your head. He acts one way and says things that contradict the way he acts. It's impossible for you to really know what he wants, because he doesn't want you to know. He does not sound like a candidate for healthy relationship at all.

He does like you - for kissing and casual sex. I think that's about all he wants. The other stuff he says seem like lines to keep you hanging around and oogling at him.

It sounds like he needs a lot of alone time to get over himself. My guess is he has other girls he sees and they are just as confused as you are. He's got you thinking he's a really nice guy, but he sleeps with you and THEN happens to mention he can't get close to anyone. Real NICE. Don't let him make a fool of you any more. Don't say anything to him about it, and if he tries to act sweet or kiss you, back away, keep your distance, and tell him when he is ready for a real relationship to ask you out on a date and you MIGHT consider it.

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