Does he mean it when he says I LOVE YOU?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Does he mean it when he says I LOVE YOU?
2
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 12:52am
how do you know that when your boyfriend says he loves you he really means that he loves you and is not just saying it to say it.

my boyfriend tells me he loves me but only really does it i find when we are on the verge of breaking up or in deep discussion that could lead to an argument(and usually does.

he says to me that he cant spend the next five years trying to prove to me that he loves me. and really i wouldn't do it either. but how do you know when the mean what they say.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 10:43am
How can you tell when anyone means what they say?

You need to look at how he TREATS you. Words are fine, and as you pointed out he usually only says it when on the verge of a fight. To me? I see that he's telling you what he thinks you want to hear. He may in fact love you, but he's hoping that by telling you at those times that you won't leave and argue with him.

Pay attention more to his actions, they're the real deal.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 2:08pm
Unfortunately there are no 100% iron-clad guarantees in this. Its your choice to believe just as its his choice to believe you and your words. The trend I am seeing is that when it comes to "I love you" statements is that words alone are no longer good enough and actions alone are no longer good enough. There needs to be consistency and reinforcement between words and actions for an "I love you" to be believed.

Are his words and actions of love consistent? You may also wish to consider that love may mean different things to him than to you. You could ask him "What does love mean to you" so you know where he is at. If you ask this question of him, you too need to be fully prepared to answer.