Does he or doesn't he care for me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2004
Does he or doesn't he care for me?
2
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 4:36pm
About 3 years ago I met this really nice guy and after two months of dating him, I broke up with him because I wasn't over my last boyfriend. Even though I broke up with this really nice guy, we remained friends. After a year of being friends, I realized how great of a guy he was and I started to fall for him. We became friends with benefits, but I knew deep down inside that I wanted him more than that and I had to confront him with my feelings. But he didn't feel the same. So I decided to end my friendship with him. 5 months has past and one day I decided to call him to see him, and that night we ran into each others arms. We acted as if nothing happened. That night we had a night of passion. I didn't want to sleep with him but it happened so suddenly that I gave into him. It's been a couple of days that I haven't seen him. He has insincuated that he wanted to see me but I guess I didn't catch on to what he wanted and we didn't see each other. I really care for this man, what I want to know is does he care about me more than a friend?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 4:51pm
There's no way you're going to find out the answer other than by ASKING him. You've known each other long enough that you should be able to talk to him pretty easily.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 4:58pm
Only he can tell you what he wants from you and how he feels for you. But let's look at the history as you described it. You and he date for awhile. YOU broke it off but he agreed to just be friends with you for a year. Then YOU decided you liked him as more so he went along with being FWB. Then YOU decide you want more than FWB but he tells you he doesn't want a relationship or anything more than FWB, so YOU stop seeing him 5 months ago. Now, YOU contact him and fall into bed with him, and wonder if his feelings have changed. My gut feeling is no. He will hang out with you when YOU call him. He will readily have sex when you agree to it. But he is not pursuing you in any aspect of this. YOU are doing all the pursuing and initiating. That's not how a mutual and healthy relationship starts and/or develops. He is there to take what's on offer, but he's not offering anything in return (at least not what you want -- a relationship). My 2¢.