Does he view me as a friend or more?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Does he view me as a friend or more?
1
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 2:00pm
I'll try to make this as brief as possible:

okay, about a month ago I was out with some friends at this bar & I noticed this guy & he was so hot. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him & he apparently couldn't keep his eyes off of me because he kept staring also... but I found out he has a girlfriend. Well the next night he & I end up at the same bar again. & we kept checking each other out & a friend of mine goes up & asks if he has a girlfriend & he says yes. Well later on in the night he approaches me & we chat for a bit & he gets my #... Well we have been talking on the phone & hanging out a few times a week... but he only invites me to hang out when it is him & his friends or to go out to a bar... We have only hung out once on a one on one basis & it was to a movie so there wasn't too much conversation... but we talk on the phone at least a half hour a day & for me that says a lot because my phone conversations with my own friends never last more than 2 minutes... Well the other day he told me he was flying home for the weekend... (he is from out of state) So I asked him what for & he said to see his girlfriend & visit his family... so I had the nerve to ask him how exactly did his long-distance relationship work out for them & he said that was what he was going up there for was to discuss it with her...so what do you think that means?? & what do you think I mean to him... I mean he has never tried anything with me: kissing, etc. but he always seems interested but do you think it is just in a friend way... like since he is from out of state he just views me as someone to hang out with down here? I am not the type to bring up something so blatantly but after hanging out with him so much I am starting to have feelings that just keep growing for him... & I would like to approach the subject & tell him just that, "Yeah, we hang out so much & I am starting to have feelings for... so what am I to you, etc." But I don't have the nerve & if I am just viewed as a friend than I don't want to be embarrassed.... but I do like him... so any opinions on this matter would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 4:23pm
Ok, to be honest, 99% of the time, a guy does not hang out with a girl "just to be friends". They are waiting for some action. Now, since he has stated that he HAS a girlfriend, then I would not allow him to think he's got a chance with you until he is no longer attached. Telling him that you like him does not guarantee that he's suddenly going to dump this girl for you, and you wouldn't want a guy around who would do that anyway.

If he decided that the long distance thing wasn't working and broke it off, waited a bit and then asked you out, then great. Other wise, who's to say he wouldn't dump you when something *better* came along.

So until he's no longer with someone, YOU should be acting like he's only a friend.

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