Does sex mean anything anymore?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Does sex mean anything anymore?!
44
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 4:32pm
I have read so many posts recently where people talk about having sex with people that they aren't in a relationship with. Does anybody ever fall in love before they have sex anymore? I guess I'm really old fashioned, I have never had sex with someone that A)I wasn't in a relationship with or B) that I didn't love...I just don't understand why people would even consider having a friends w/ benefits situation or have sex with someone they barely know. It seems that sex doesn't mean anything to anybody anymore and it's not taken very seriously. Don't get me wrong I enjoy sex, but to me there is alot more to a relationship than sex. I was just wondering if I'm the only person that feels this way?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 3:39pm
So do I.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 4:12pm

Delurking to say.........


I just wanted to say I totally agree with you.




my pet!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 4:19pm

I just had to respond to this one. I love this thread because I am so not the norm, and I'm proud of it....therefore.....you asked....


I) What kind of commitment for a relationship can I expect from a woman who would have little qualm about sleeping around?


You can expect a monogamous and very healthy and loving relationship. You can also expect a fun sex life. You can expect total commitment and trust. You can expect the same as a woman who hasn't "slept around"



II) Why would a woman want to get in a relationship with me (or any man for that matter) if she is getting it easily?


Because, she WANTS you....for you. Not for your penis. She loves you for your heart and soul, not your penis. She MAY enjoy your penis for what it is, and enjoy the act of lovemaking AND sex, but overall, she's with you because she CHOOSES to be.



III) Why would I want to INVEST in a relationship to be with a woman who thinks she is in "love" for a short time while the 'love' lasts, before she dumps me for the BBD (bigger better deal) - and falls in 'love' for the next guy down the block ....


Why should she want to invest in a man with a closed mind? Besides, just because she's "slept" around doens't mean that she doesn't love for the long run....or LONG TERM. It just means that she enjoys sex. And besides, even a woman who was a virgin could easily leave you for the BBD. So, whose to say a virgin won't cheat on you, leave you, or find a better lover down the road.


Granted, this is all ME answering all this. But it bothers me when ppl place




my pet!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 4:22pm

I'm sure someone already posted about this....but....


You wrote, "If i run into trashy women like this, i'll treat them like it. When i have a ONS, i know for a fact that she's trashy, and i'll treat her like it. Just use her and leave and never call her. She deserves the treatment for the lack of morals and values."





my pet!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 4:27pm

Can I ask you something? What makes you think the woman is being used?




my pet!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2004
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 4:37pm
It's good to know that 99% of the men think a woman that has a ONS is a slut, because for me to have a relationship as to be with a man that is on that 1% left, who is open mind, respectful of women and love me for who I am not because I have or not ONS.

Having great sex it's better with love because of the cuddling after, not because of the sex itself! The greatest sex of my life were with men I didn't want to see after never more. It was just sex, nothing more, and it was great! Does that make me a slut? Well, I just don't give a s*** to people who call that to women, because for me they don't even exist in my life, and I want distance from a person who thinks that way.

Just continue to call women who have ONS sluts if you want, it's sexy if we see it well!! LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 4:59pm

I had to delurk to post this. I love this topic, mostly because it is a great debate and that no one is wrong or right. You do whatever is right TO YOU. But, I guess what bothers me the most, is being told I'm immoral by ppl like you. I accept your position and could fully understand and support you. Why can't you accept other ppls opinions and leave it at that...their lifestyle. You don't have to deal with it. So why pass judgement on them?


I am all for FWB. All for sex w/o love. All for sex period. I fall in love before having sex....but that doesn't mean that I can't have sex w/o love. With about 98% of all my r'ships, sex has been monogamous. Most of them, about 85% have been with ppl I love and/or are in r'ships with. But, my number is high. Does that make me less of a person....even if I've loved them all?


My xh judged me. Then gave me "his" list. He slept with a woman after a week. But he claimed he loved her. I told him...."I was honest that yes, I THOUGHT I loved them, but hindsight being 20/20, I know now it was lust, and yet you judged me on that. And you're telling me you were truly in love with this woman you slept with after knowing her for a week and being with her for only 3 months. GET REAL!!!" He had to RETHINK it all.


Why do I have sex with someone I barely know? Because. I don't care about WHO they are. I have no intentions of being in a r'ship with them. I want their body. I want them to please my body. I want to have sex with them, maybe grab a bite to eat (so a personality would be good), or catch a movie. But overall,




my pet!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 11:12pm
You're definitely not the only one who wants to be in love or at least have a very strong connection with someone before making love.
,
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 4:11am
How is she being used?

She's like a door knob. Every guy gets a turn. She treats her puzzy like its gold, but then tosses it to every guy in the bars/clubs. Women do not think! Women feel, so they feel that they are being loved and worshipped by the guy, not knowing that the guy just wants some puzzy, and nothing else to do with her. Great example of being used. If she had self control, she wouldnt put herself in this position, but they all do. They get what they deserve.

You can call me a slut, but frankly..........i dont care. If im in the mood for a ONS, and she's dumb enuff to take it up, then i will treat her like a slut, plain and simple. I have no respect for sluts, so i'll hit it with no further contact. It's ok for a guy to be a slut but not a women! =)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 5:08am
Ya did it again my friend! ...

"Women do not think!" Oh yes we do. Please don't generalise like that.

"It's ok for a guy to be a slut but not a women!" That's your opinion and you're entitled to it, but it's not what every person thinks.

Please read my post to you in your other thread. We're not all the enemy you know.

Eve