Doesn't This Seem Strange??
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| Fri, 06-30-2006 - 4:09pm |
Hello everyone,
I want to get your opinion on this. Please read on...
I have been seeing my bf for a year now. We get along well and I think we are close.
He has 3 grown sons from a previous marriage. I get along well with them too.
A month ago my bf was aressted for DUI charges. He is not an alcoholic; just a social drinker.And he has been sober since the incident.
Well, he went to court on Monday and was sentenced to 14 days in jail.
Earlier he told me he'd rather I would not visit him while he is in jail. He said it is because it would hurt him if i came to see him and see me leave, knowing he could not leave with me. I told him I'd wait til he got out.
Here's what I think is strange: The day they put him in jail, he called me collect. I accepted the call. And he's called me every day since then.
My question is, why does he call when he does not want me to visit him? The 4th of July is his birthday and he does not want me to visit that day either.
I find all this strange. What do you think? I'd like your thoughts on this, please.
Thank you.

<< why does he call when he does not want me to visit him? >>
For the reasons he stated << He said it is because it would hurt him if i came to see him and see me leave, knowing he could not leave with me. >> ... it doesn't "hurt him" to hear your voice, it probably provides him with some comfort and familiarity of what's "outside" while he's doing his brief stint (otherwise, he wouldn't be calling if it didn't benefit him). But, if he were to see you, it would be hard for him to watch you leave, knowing that he wouldn't be able to leave with you.
Doesn't seem strange to me. We can't always know what it's like in another person's shoes. For you, you might want the visits. But, for him, he's saying that it would be too hard. All you can do is support his decision. After all, it's only a couple of weeks, and I'm sure it must be hard, but it's not as though you have to wait months or a year to see him. Just keep reminding yourself that it will be over soon.
(and hopefully, he'll drink more responsibly in the future!)
Hey starbuck,
Thank you for your reply. I feel much more at ease now. Thanks for pointing all these things out; I never thought of it that way. You are an intelligent person.
Yes, I believe he has learned his lesson. I believe he will be more careful from now on.
Actually this is his second charge;he had told me this when I had talked to him this morning. The first time had happened before he had met me.
Yeah, I guess you're right, pimbiroo. I assume he is ahamed of what has happened. At least he hasn't drank anything since the incident; he says he won't anymore.
Lesson learned here...
Thank you for your reply.