Don't know what he means

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Don't know what he means
2
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 5:30pm
I started talking to this guy about a month ago. I am 33 he is 29. We talk every night for a bout an hr or so and he says that I am the only one he ever goes online to talk to (the only reason he goes on). We have been on two dates once out to eat and once to the movies. We haven't even kissed or held hands yet. Well we were taking last night and I asked him of he thought there would be a 3rd date and he said maybe. I asked him what he meant and he said that he didn't know if we were compatible. I said that we could still be friends and he agreed. Now tonight he is working later than usual but said that he will talk to me definitely. We may get together next weekend. I said that I was taught that a relationship works well if you start out as friends and he agreed with that. Well my question is if he is only talking to me and we never have a lack of conversation and feel very comfortable with each other than why did he say that he doesn't know if we are compatible, and how to find out?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 5:40pm
Hon, what he says means that he needs time to get to know you to see if you have similar/common interests and such. A month is too short to get to know a person; that's why he's telling you that he doesn't know if you are compatible. Dating is a period to know each other and that's what you two are doing. It's possible that he's dating other women as well, so he wants to get to know them well before getting serious. You should follow his lead, date other men and decide which is best for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2004
Sat, 11-06-2004 - 9:26am
I would suggest that you believe what he said. If he doesn't think the relationship will work out, take him at his word. I would think that if he had romantic feelings toward you, he would have at least wanted to hold hands or embrace you. I have made the mistake of spending a lot of time emailing or talking on the phone only to find that in real life he is not ready to make a connection, or is just amusing himself with the communication. The current buzz is "he's just not that into you" might apply here. I think as women we analyze too much and for too long. We hang in there hoping that the guy will see how wonderful we are. If he doesn't see how wonderful you are by now, cut your losses and toss this fish back into the lake. Good luck!