Don't want him, but should I keep him?
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| Tue, 07-04-2006 - 3:33am |
Firstly, I'm new to the boards, so I don't really know if this is the right place to be seeking advice or not but I shall try anyways.
You know how you always want what you can't have? It seems to be very true for me, in the most contradicting way -- when I'm single, I hate it and really want a boyfriend; when I have a boyfriend, I want out. There has been this guy that I have been casually seeing for a little while and I really like him -- he's nice, funny, basically good boyfriend material. As of just a few short hours ago, we became a 'couple' or 'going out' or however you'd put it. Now I seem to hate it. It's not him that I don't like, but my desire to be with him faded once we were together. So, I don't really know what I'm asking here but I'm torn between whether I should stay with him or not. He's a nice guy and I don't think he deserves a girlfriend that doesn't want to be there, likewise, he doesn't deserve to have a girl just randomly change her mind about him after leading him on. Even so, if I were to decide the latter, what would I even say to him? I'm pretty torn right now and any guidance would be much appreciated.

asian_honey...
Once the "chase" is over....some couples get bored!
Pianoguy doesn't know you, but based on the fact that you always seem to be on the fence when it comes to either being 'a single lady' or commiting yourself to someone...that choice seems to be your biggest problem?
So here's my honest opinion.....which you (like all ivillagers) can accept, reject or ignore:
If a man or woman CAN'T DECIDE if another person will add more to his/her life...DON'T COMMIT TO ANYBODY! Have a lot of friendships instead, and make it clear to the people you're friends with that you have no intention of taking things any further.
This will leave them the option of 'accepting your friendship' according to your terms, or...seeking out another person who eventually wants someone more permanent in THEIR lives?
I honestly think you need to confront your feelings and decide if being single...or part of a couple...is more appealing? Cuz right now....you're just being 'wishy-washy' with yourself!
Pianoguy