Don't want to ruin our Friendship.. HELP

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2006
Don't want to ruin our Friendship.. HELP
2
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 12:47am

I have a situation. I have a good friend that I have known for about 6 years, we talk on and off every so often. He is very attractive and good-looking, he just got out of a very serious relationship and has told me that he does not want a serious relationship and I respect his decision and understand. Though lately we have been having phone sex and been really close a couple of times on having sex. I know that he is a flirt and does not mind or have a problem with a one-night stand.

Though my problem and concern is that if we do end up having sex it will ruin our friendship. On the other hand, is he just keeping me around hoping that one of these times I will crack and have sex with him? Help; please share your advice and opinion on this. Apart of me wants to have sex with him, though I do not want to ruin our friendship, though then is there really a friendship or is he just keeping me around hoping that I will have sex with him one of these times.

Thank you so much! HELP!
Pamela
www.LoveYourHomeBiz.com

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 12:56am

If he's a good friend, then TALK to him about your concerns!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 11:47am
What you have here is a potentially blossoming sexual relationship. You have had phone sex, so you really dont have a platonic friendship anymore, so you may as well talk to him about it. If you wish to resume a friendly rapport then you can still have that, but you cant really go back to what you had over the last 6 years because your roles have changed now. If you feel that you want more from him than casual sex then it would be wise to stop everything now. He has been very direct with you about what he wants from you or any woman right now. So if you step into it, make sure you have your wits about you otherwise you may end up feeling blindsided when he told you the truth from the beginning. The problem with women is that we sometimes disregard what a man says and instead insert what we hope they are feeling like, "oh he just says that now, I know he's just scared and eventually he will realize he loves me." NO!!! Pay attention to what he is telling you.