down in the dumps dude

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2003
down in the dumps dude
4
Sun, 01-29-2006 - 1:33am
The man I am seeing has become a real downer.
He constantly apologizes for everything.
He said he had to work today, and I thought we could have lunch at 1, but we couldn't and he called me up and apoligized, and he called me again at 5 to apologize. And he had this "go ahead and hate me, I deserve it" tone in his voice. I just could not convince him that I had a splendid time on my own, I went to Tulsa and did some shopping.
He's doing an assignment at work and he's constantly talking about what a bad job he's doing on it--the last time he did this he kept saying he was going to be fired. Part of me wants to go up to his boss and tell him to ease up on him.
i am just getting through some major depression myself and am taking anti-depressants, i just don't think i can take any more of his whimpering.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Sun, 01-29-2006 - 6:16am
Praise the positives. Ignore the negatives. What you feed, grows.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Sun, 01-29-2006 - 2:47pm
Nobody likes a downer. If this man is not for you then it is time to move on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2005
Sun, 01-29-2006 - 2:48pm
You can be a great source of support, strength and encouragement for him. I am not saying that you should become his therapist, but someone who could influence him in a positive way, and make his experiences less negative and bitter by being patient and positive for him. You like him and care for him, right. You should certainly talk to him about this in the most non-accusatory way and gently point him to it. Also tell him how it makes you feel. Maybe getting some outside help will also help. He should become aware of this, so he can work towards making things better. I feel, none of us get perfect partners. If this is really affecting you....only you are in the best position to make the best decision for yourself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Sun, 01-29-2006 - 10:48pm

You might try letting him know

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