Drawn Out Disputes

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2004
Drawn Out Disputes
3
Tue, 12-07-2004 - 3:58pm
Every single time DF and I have even a minor dispute it gets carried out for days on end and I am so tired of it. I would like to be able to come to a compromise or agree to disagree at the time of the dispute but DF won't have that. He gets angry, then I get the silent treatment for at least 2 days. It's horribly frustrating and I don't know what to do. I have told him how much this bothers me but it continues to happen over and over again. Any advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Fri, 12-10-2004 - 6:09pm
Hello jem, welcome to the board!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Fri, 12-10-2004 - 7:03pm

Sounds childish to me.

You need to look long and hard at things and see them for what they really are- do you want to be fighting this way and accepting this behaviour 5 years from now?

And what about when there's kids involved and an issue comes up with them, how will that be dealt with? Do you want your kids to learn that behaviour to be the way you fight? Or do you want them to be able to hear the other person, validate their view and compromise?

Even the most communicative of couples have misunderstandings, but they can be dealt with by listening and WANTING to find a solution. Since you say you're being given the silent treatment for days upon days, I'm not seeing a solution being found. Can I ask what changes after the 2 days that he begins talking to you again? Do you give in to what his view is? Do you apoligize just to clear the air, even if you feel the issue was not your "fault"?

You don't want to be having major fights for the rest of your life, do you?

Alison

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Fri, 12-10-2004 - 7:36pm

What happens during and after the 2 days of silent treatment? Is there any resolution?

What is his reaction when you tell him that his behavior bothers you?

A~