The dreaded exclusivity talk.
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The dreaded exclusivity talk.
| Tue, 05-15-2007 - 8:03pm |
I don't know how to go about it without sounding like I'm nagging.. or feeling like I'm trying to tie him down.. or trying to put a label on it.
"Where is this going?" - no way.
"Are we exclusive?" - sounds a little desperate to me.
I just don't know :\ Maybe these phrases sound bad to only me and I'm being ridiculous about the whole thing.
All I know is we've been hanging out/sleeping together for about four months and I want him all to myself. But not in the obsessive, controlling girlfriend kind of way, of course :D
Any advice would be helpful, especially success stories.

i've never personally been the asker of exclusivity, but i can give you the methods my last 4 boyfriends used:
- "so are we doing this, just you and me?" (personal fave)
- me, joking: "i'm easy like a sunday morning." him: "as long as you're only easy for me."
- "will you be my girl?"
- "so, are you my girlfriend?"
i'm not saying they're the greatest lines, but they worked on me! hope this helps.
If you don't want to handle it as a direct question, I have an idea. It may or may not work in your situation, but it might help you think of additional options. You can say to him something like, "the other day, my friend (dad, mom, bro, sis - whatever you want to use to fill in) asked me what our situation was, like, are we boyfriend and girlfriend or are we just casually dating. I didn't know how to answer that question. How would you have answered that question? I felt so foolish, but we never talked about it and I got caught off guard."
or...you can just ask him, "are you seeing anyone else at this point? We never talk about it, but it would be good if I knew."
Thanks for all the great suggestions, you guys.
Looks like I'm just going to have to grow some balls now :\
~Kelly~
I like what Dr. Phil has to say about things like this - "You won't always get what you want, but you will get what you negotiate."
This requires that every person take personal responsibility to ask for what they want so that a negotiation can occur to reach a compromise.
Simply say - "I would like for us to date exclusively". From there you can talk about what that really means for both of you.
Just be casual.