Drugs and relationships. Help!
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Drugs and relationships. Help!
| Thu, 10-14-2004 - 11:04pm |
I am 20 soon 2 be 21. I have been with my boyfriend for 3yrs, we have a son, and, i am pregant again. I recently was told by my boyfriend that he has been using cocaine. I have seen friends, family, and strangers destroy theirselfs this way and dont want my sons to have a father who abuses drugs. Nor a boyfriend who is not financially or mentally stable. I do not know what to do. I love him and do not want to leave him but I can't live that life. By the way he is 7 yrs. older than me, so he says I am overreacting because he is not completely turned out because he can control it. (supposively). Thank You for reading my problem, I just hope I get a response on how to handle it. :-)
Signatures On
| Fri, 10-15-2004 - 12:55am |
My heart aches for you because I know what you are going through. I went through the exact same situation. Except my son (at the time) was one and is my only child. But my sons father said the exact same thing, It started out as he just did it once, then it was just every once in a while. I have learned that this leads up to uncontrollable use. Even though he may think he has it "undercontrol", I am guessing he really doesnt. I dont know of any cocain addicts who have their addiction undercontrol. Either way you are in a position now as a mother to decide what is best for your children. And after reading your message I think you already know what you need to do. Not only do you have to worry about your children and your emotional and financial needs with going through this if you decide to stick with him but you could also possibly run the risk of loosing your children to the state. If for some reason he would potentially be with you and the children in a vehicle or in your house and busted by police for possession, even if you are not carrying the drug, you have potential problems with your children being taken by the state and put in foster homes. I loved my childs father and I stuck it out for as long as i could physically and emotionally handle and it doesn't get better. They do not change until they are ready to as much as they say they will and as much as you do for them and try. He will not stop using until he is ready to, and that will more than likely take some drug rehabilitation and/or therapy. In my situation, me and my son left, and although it was so hard at first I know that it was well worth it. I am also a young mother. I am 23 and my son is now 3. I am 100% positive that because of us leaving my son and I will have a much better life. Irregardless if he is seven years older than you, obviously you are much more mature. If he truly cared for you, your son, and your one on the way he would be putting you first in his life. Right now hes not. You need to stand your ground and tell him its your way or no way and either he gets professional help to stop or you and the kids should move on. Its not fair to you or your babies to live the life that he will drag you all down with. I will keep you in my prayers.
