during sex.. HELP

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2007
during sex.. HELP
8
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 3:42pm

me & my boyfriend of 2 years..are experiancing an issue thats been going on lately. (past 4 times weve had sex) during sex..its just boring after he cant get "it" up anymore. (in the beginning) sex is great & he`s rock hard and we enjoy it together. im usually ALWAYS on top. and we do good about switching into diff. positions together. but when i am on top (after about 10-15 mins of sex) and he pulls out he gets soft very very quickly. i dont even think he has an orgasm unless he does and i not know it. then he just gets tired, lazy & gets an attitude with me. when im 100% aroused and ready for another round.. so its like.. boring (im laying there waiting for him) and he doesnt move. then all i want to do is get up and leave, but at the same time i dont because i love him..but he wont tell me anything thats wrong he just shows it..but then once im ready to leave he grabs me & kisses me and tells me he loves me & doesnt want me to leave.. im like.. "what?" i dont understand him. sounds like more other issues huh...? but im mostly concerned about our sex life thats making me want to not have sex with him anymore, or 'cheat' i dont want too.. i really dont & never have but i have needs and ive never had an orgasm or really a good outcome of sex with him.
its so hard...& i love him very very very much.

what should i do..say??? btw, were both 20 years old

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 5:51pm
So, no orgasm in two years? That's rough. Being on top may not be right for your body to experience orgasm. Everyone is different. Your clitoris needs stimulation. Your BF may not like the position with you on top. You say you do go into different positions during the course of sex. What position do you feel he responds to during sex? Why don't you ask him what he likes and what he doesn't like? I'm sure he'll tell you. Do you have oral sex? Do you ever use it as part of foreplay? There are lots of books and videos for you and he to watch and read together to discover what else you can do to enjoy sex with each other.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 7:48pm

reallllly rough. but i didnt want to seem pushy. but he was also feeling the same way.
i dont do oral sex..i havent yet and dont plan on til` getting married.. so thas a whole other issue.

<< You say you do go into different positions during the course of sex. What position do you feel he responds to during sex? Why don't you ask him what he likes and what he doesn't like? I'm sure he'll tell you. >>

thats a really good question... hes never tells me. but he always rolls me over to be "on top".. so i figure thats better for him.. as for me, its okay.. i always reach a point to where it feels like im about to have an orgasm it just never comes..

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 9:51pm
Are you refraining from oral sex due to religious or cultural reasons? If so, I don't mean to offend you, but oral sex could help spice up your love life. I recommend getting some videos or books that are designed to help couples explore sex and different techniques or enhancements. There are other sexual positions that you could try besides missionary or woman on top with man lying down that you and he might like.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2007
Fri, 06-29-2007 - 8:40pm
not anything religious..its just "me"
it probably would help us alot but im just not comfortable with doing it.
i haveso many negative feelings towards having oral sex..i wont even let him do it to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Fri, 06-29-2007 - 9:04pm
Oh, I understand your feelings of apprehension. You shouldn't do anything that you are not comfortable doing. Some guys actually like doing that for a woman. There are some men who will do it under any conditions even during you period - ugh - I know - I wouldnt do it to me during my period, but...it happens.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Fri, 06-29-2007 - 9:14pm
Just remember...if you are uncomfortable having oral sex because you are concerned about "odor" - he has an odor too. He has penal and ball (sweaty) odor, but does that stop men from having a woman do oral sex on them? Absolutely not - they can't wait for it!! Women should be the same way. Oh, the vision of a vagina disturbs you? Have you looked at a penis lately? It's not something monet ever painted. Are men proud of that thing and its 2 cousins swinging between their legs? Absolutely!!! It doesnt matter if it is funny looking - they loooovve their penis. While we are at - everybody needs a shave down there too. Just a little humor...sorry.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2007
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 6:14pm
you got it confused... im not worried about how he looks down there or me OR smells.. i just dont want to do oral sex on him..and since i wont do it to him. i WONT allow him to do it to me...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 9:00pm
oh, okay, I wasn't sure...sorry for the confusion.