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| Wed, 03-17-2004 - 8:15am |
Hi, I met a guy on vacation in October. He's 65 and I'm 54. He was traveling with his cousin (a woman)and another woman friend. He was the one who invited me to join them being I was traveling alone. So I was with them for 9 days. We all seemed to have hit off. I had taken a picture of the three of them and when I got home decided to look him up and send him the pictures. He was very pleased and e-mailed me back and said he was looking forward to hearing from me and that maybe in the Spring we could all get together and in the meantime to keep in touch. So I did. The problem is it seems to be one sided. If I e-mail him first, he'll always answer me. But if I let it go for about a month or so; I noticed that he won't take that initiative.
Another problem that I have with him is that no matter what I talk to him about I can't get him to open up. The only subjects that he will open up about are playing bridge and dancing but other than that I can't seem get to first base. After about 5 months now, I guess I'm getting tired of e-mailing him and hoping against hope that we will finally meet up in the Spring. But somehow I don't think so.
I guess my question is should I give him up all together or just keep in touch on occasion? He has my number at home. Can I ask him in the e-mail to call me at home or would that be too forward. Maybe it's time to let go. Thanks for your reply. Mary Ann

I'm sure he enjoyed meeting you on vacation, and it sounds like you had a grand time with the rest of his party. But that's probably all it was to him. It's funny how "close" we can seem to become to people we meet on vacation. When the trip is over, there's a whole lot of: "we're going to stay in touch and get together again!" and even tears! But somehow, we seldom follow up. Once we get home, we are content with our fond memories of the people we met. We never get around to writing that letter or making that phone call. Or, the contact ends up being all one-way, as in your case. The other person rarely reciprocates.
You've already given this gentleman ample opportunity to reciprocate. Now, you should accept that he is not willing or able to participate in this exchange with you. If he wanted to call you, he would have done so by now. You can't push him into it, and I don't think you would want that kind of relationship anyway... where you have to continuously needle someone into talking to you. That's not a real friendship.
Chalk it up to a lovely vacation experience, let the fantasy go, and concentrate on men a little closer to home! Someone nearby will be more likely to pursue YOU.
Take care, and good luck.
NOTE: I saw your profile about working at the 911 center. I'm a survivor of 911. I worked in the south tower of WTC and was in that day. I use to work on the 47th floor. My co-workers and I are lucky; we all got out right away. It still seems soo surreal. I miss those Towers. We back working down on Wall Street.
Check out message no. 24289.6. I guess it would be under reply no. 6. I think this best for the both of our situations. I don't know yet. Right now I'm still annoyed that I can't get anywhere with him let alone getting together in the Spring (Ha-Ha). Only in my dreams I guess. I just thought it would be nice if we could be friends without being pushy and clingy. Oh well. Bye for now, Mary Ann