Emailing and old flame-Is he interested

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Emailing and old flame-Is he interested
9
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 12:20pm
I have been emailing an ex from high school for the past 7 months. We saw each other when he was in state for a visit, and have been emailing back and forth for the 7 months since. These are just "friendly" emails-We don't have a LDR or anything. However, even though they are "friendly" I am interested, but recently divorced. Just wondering what his motivations might be-Just friends or is he keeping the communication going because he is "interested". Sometimes I think he's being polite...my girlfriend says he would not have kept it going this long if he wasn't at least somewhat interested...He would have blown me off a while ago. We have exchanged over 100 emails back and forth. Any opinions?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 1:58pm
There are many possible answers to your question of what are his motivations, intentions and interest level -- I'm sure you have thought about all of them. Nobody here knows what the answers are -- only HE does (and maybe even he is not sure). All we can offer are more "maybes" and that's not going to help you much. You say you are divorced -- what is his relationship status? Hopefully he isn't married, even if your emails are merely "friendly." What's YOUR motivation and interest level? Would you be happy and satisfied with a LDR if that happened?

From experience I have come to know the danger of emails, IMS, etc. I believe the internet can be a wonderful yet dangerous thing b/c it's just so darn easy. It takes almost no effort to correspond with people, find people, say whatever you want, find solace, excitement, etc. all at the touch of a button. But when you get right down to it, it's not real life. Being friends (or more) with someone online merely equates to having a penpal IMO.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 3:33pm
If he were interested in more he would have asked you out by now, IMHO - he is interested in an email penpal with whom he occasionally can flirt.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 3:54pm
Well, we live in different states, so it would be kind of hard to date. Plus, I was going through a divorce. I guess I'm more interested in down the road...If he's interested at some level or if he was just being polite. Is he keeping things going because he also thinks that "down the road" there might be some possibility of a relationship? I would think if he wasn't interested at all, he wouldn't bother, but maybe I'm just giving myself false hope.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 4:43pm
Here's a thought. Rather than have a group of women who don't know either you or the young man that you are interested in speculate on the state of your "relationship". Why don't you pick up the phone and ask *him* what he's looking for, and what his intentions are? Then you can tell him what *you* are looking for. I think you'll have a pretty good indication of where to take things from there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 5:08pm
Gee, I guess you could give that kindof "help" and "answer" to anyone who poses questions on this board. Why does it exist if not to ask these kindof questions in a safe, anonymsous environment. Thanks, but your response was not quite what I was looking for.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 5:25pm
I was in no way attacking you. But the most any of us can do here is speculate as to what your friend is looking for and if he is in fact interested.

You say that my answer was not what you were looking for. Is what you were looking for more along the lines of "yes, he's definitely interested in you, and he hopes to have a long term relationship with you."? People can tell you what you want to hear but it may not be the truth.

These boards are filled with posts from women who all ask the same questions, will he call?; is he interested in me?; do we have a future?; what do you think he's looking for? It's as if the posters expects someone to have a crystal ball and be able to predict outcomes. Most of the questions that women come here asking should really be posed the man involved. Not to your girlfriends, your family members or coworkers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
Sun, 05-30-2004 - 9:28pm
i must say i totally agree with you. most of these questions should be asked of the other person involved. we are most looking for a shoulder i think. im a blunt person and believe in coming right out and asking or saying whats on my mind just prepare yourself mentally for the answer you were hoping wouldnt come.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sun, 05-30-2004 - 9:46pm
Hello parmstrong!


 
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sun, 05-30-2004 - 9:51pm
"Gee, I guess you could give that kindof "help" and "answer" to anyone who poses questions on this board. Why does it exist if not to ask these kindof questions in a safe, anonymsous environment. Thanks, but your response was not quite what I was looking for."