Embarrassing situation that my man knows

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Embarrassing situation that my man knows
4
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 11:14pm
Hi, I had a little incident today that I am very embarrassed about and I feel like a real idiot. My boyfriend of 5 months is a cop, and today, I had an incident with the police in my town (not the town he works in). I went out to my car to find it was booted for parking in a residential area (I did not have my permit yet). Well, a cop came by and took my license and ran it through the system. It came back showing that there was a warrent out for my arrest in another town for not paying 3 parking tickets, which I got a few months ago, and since I moved, forgot about, which I realize is irresponsible.

Anyway, the nice cops suggested that I call my boyfriend to see if he could straighten it out with the other PD, which I did. Anyway, my car was impounded and I needed to go to the police station in town to figure out if I could just pay the tickets then and there and be released, or what. Everything worked out, and I was not arrested, and just needed to pay the fines. But, I really could have been arrested, I suppose.

So, my boyfriend was very helpful, and did not sound too angry, but I know he thinks I am stupid for doing that. I realize it was idiotic. I had to pay high fines AND a high high fee for getting my car out of the tow pound. But, now I am completely embarrassed and I fear that he will leave me for this. He said that "everyone makes mistakes..." But, like I said, I could tell he was not pleased. I am highly embarrassed since he is a cop also, and must think this is even more stupid. So, my question is, how can I sort of "recover" from this embarrassment. I apologized and told him I felt like a jerk and learned my lesson. But, is there anything else I can do to make him realize I am not always this irresponsible and stupid? Is it possible this would be something he would leave me for? Thanks for you help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 1:07am
Is your goal to keep from losing your boyfriend, or demonstrating to him that your values are not in conlict with his?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2004
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 11:50am
Hi there:

If he has eyes and common sense, after five months, he already knows if you are irresponsible.

First of all being a little bit irresponsible is cute; some guys will find it to be a mildly attractive part of your personality. In other words, while he may not necessarily look for that trait in a woman, it may endear you to him. Please notice is used the word *may*. Just as women like that "little something" about their particular man, men like unique and different things about the women with whom they spend time.

If we are talking about something that approaches significant irresponsibility, on any regular basis, that is a different story. But again, if he has eyes and a rational thought process, he is already aware of that trait.

My guess is that these tickets, by themselves, have the potential to be a good natured, humorous reference between the two of you in your future together. If the tickets are surrounded by more of layers of irresponsibility, you may have an issue on your hands AND, it's probably time to "clean house," regardless of whether he stays or goes; but you already know that.

As you just found, you never know what is around the corner and it is good to be prepared, as a way of life.

Good luck,

dh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 1:42pm
"is there anything else I can do to make him realize I am not always this irresponsible and stupid?" Yes, from now on act responsibilty and make good decisions. And if your bf dumps you for making a mistake then he's not worth keeping anyway.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 1:49pm
This is no way to go through a relationship. You should not be worried that he will leave you over this. If he does leave you, then he was not worth your time.

You did not rob a bank. You simply didn't pay parking tickets. Yes, it was a bit irresponsible.. but you.. are HUMAN. You have identified your error and you've corrected it. You won't do it again.. so there really is no problem.

I would definitely relax if I was you. You are not a bad person and anyone who left you over a mistake such as this is not worth your time.