end of a loser

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
end of a loser
14
Fri, 09-01-2006 - 2:49am
Just to finalise my 'can love grow?' and other thread on this guy, he came back from his holidays and did not contact me. Then he contacted me and said he had a whole pile of my DVD's and videos etc which he never used and wanted to give me back. I realised he wanted to call it a day. Probably the holiday had given him chance to reflect that it was just to much effort for him even to be nice to me. He said I should meet at his place (where we usually meet) and then go out to eat. I wondered if he had been attacked by a sudden fit of generosity but anyway..I went around there and he gave me the DVD's in a pile and said he could never love me and couldn't go against his feelings and the whole thing was exhausting him. I said ok, then let's call it quits. It hurt me because when I saw him again it was hard to control my feelings and he looked very handsome and tanned after his break.
He then said he still liked the business idea and would like to be friends and meet from time to time (would that be once a year??). I said you couldn't do a business with someone and keep them at arm's length and to have a good business relationship you had to have a good rapport with the other person. He said my problem was that I wanted more than he could give me i.e. love and companionship. I said I couldn't even get him to be civil or answer calls half the time and think the 'love' thing is just a red herring since he can't respect me anyway. Best of all, after having said he didn't ever want sex with me or anything like that, he came out of the shower and wanted me to do a blowjob on him!!! I just got up and walked out and came home, tore up his photos and that was that. I think he is really disgusting.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: stefania9
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 6:00pm
Jilly, I'm going to email you privately about this if it's ok... ;o)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
In reply to: stefania9
Wed, 09-06-2006 - 8:03pm
Sure, I'd be happy to get your email. But I was surprised to see my post deleted(???)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
In reply to: stefania9
Thu, 09-07-2006 - 10:59am
You are right about him being a pig! The last time I spoke to him was just after he got back from his vacation. Instead of being refreshed and more pleasant, he seemed worse than ever; cold and manipulative and, when that did not work, he became abusive to me and started shouting that I had promised to help him with a business and that I was a bitch like a lot of women/all women (cannot remember as he was shouting in another language) and sly and a liar and could not be trusted. He just wanted to start his business with my capital and no contact from me whatsoever..like you all said. Moreover, he said crazy stuff like if I wasn't so much older than him he would have loved me and that did not make sense either. Worst of all, he said he knew he treated me badly but that I was responsible for that by my behaviour (??) and really I wonder now if he is even right in the head??? I understand why his wife left him although he said that unlike me (he loves driving the knife in) he loved her and so on but something is really eating him and I cannot have any contact with someone who seems so unstable and unpleasant.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
In reply to: stefania9
Thu, 09-07-2006 - 5:10pm

Well, at least he showed himself for the uncaring, manipulative and mean-spirited person he really is. The good news about that is you can now move on without feeling a SMIDGEON of regret or obligation to him for his stupid business idea. Just erase every trace of this guy from your life... remove his email or IM address from your list, and delete his phone numbers and all his old messages. You're ready to start living your life again without the burden of worrying about this bad guy.

I wish you well. You'll recover from this experience much quicker than you think is possible, if you always keep in mind how he treated you and talked to you.

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