ending a relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2004
ending a relationship
3
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 11:51pm
would it be ok to end a relationship by phone after dating for three years? i know my boyfriend is going to call me tomorrow to do something for the weekend and i don't think we should make plans anymore. should I just cut to hte chase on the phone or ask him to come over to talk, which i know he'll respond to with, what's really going on, just tell me now. i don't want any drama with this and i just want him to understand that i like him as a person but we're obviously going down two different paths and it's not worth our time anymore. i doubt he'll be shocked. or do i have to do this in person? what do you think?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 12:12am
I think the phone is okay. But be prepared for a long conversation. You at least should give him an explaination so that he can have "closure".

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 12:28am

I think a 3 year relationship deserves an in-person discussion. Would YOU honestly be ok with it if he broke things off over the phone after so long? If you really would, then go for it, but I know I wouldn't be.

You shouldn't make him come to you, however...go to his place, or meet somewhere neutral, like a park or coffee shop.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 1:29am


from my own experience couple years ago, i know that when my ex-bf quit the relationship after 3 years over the phone, it shattered me even more. but i was out of town. And, he didn't give me any explanation which was even worse. i thought that he did not have the guts to do it face to face when i WAS with him just a week before the day he called and told me. i HAD to travel long distance in order to talk to him and ask him the why's, the when's the how's, because breaking up over the phone just did not feel right to me and i was too hurt with that. ofcourse, i was more in love with him than he with me, to begin with. i knew he had been always unsure. so i guess i didnt expect anything great from his side.

anyways, to cut it short, i would say that talk it out face to face. a three year relationship does deserve that.

i have never done a breaking up in a neutral setting. it has always been at his place or my place. since i feel this is something really private and personal, i would pick a home.

i hope it goes smoothly.
i am sorry..
all the best.