engagement ?
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engagement ?
| Sun, 01-01-2006 - 10:42pm |
i am a 30 y.o mom of 3. divorced a yr ago. my ? is this; i have been living w/ my bf for almost 3 yrs now (we have been together this long as well) and he will not purpose!! he is only 23 i understand this but if he loves me why the delay? he says that he wants to marry me but wants to take things slow. how much slower can they be? what is the proper time for a couple to become engaged? a yr, 5 yrs? he says that we are "doing pretty good the way we are now" he knows how i feel about this and i feel like a nag because i am always wanting to know when, he says it will just happen. i cant even wedding browse/look for ideas w/o him saying something about it not being the right time. what do i do? we have no kids together (i am unable to have more) my love for him is keeping me here but how much longer will that hold up? please help!!

It doesn't sound like this man wants to marry you right now. In fact, he may not want to marry you at all. He may want to have his own children, he may want to have a better job before marrying, more assets or even be able to date more women.
You need to sit down with this man and find out whether he has more concerns. He sounds like he likes things just as they are and doesn't want to change anything.
How much of you agrees with him, that things are great right now? My cousin and his girlfriend have property together, etc., but no wedding certificate in sight after eight commited years. It works for them. What will a wedding certificate get you that you don't have now?
You can push this issue and force a wedding or lose him. Decide if you are ready for that before you sit him down for yet another talk. I do think that three years is more than plenty of time to get engaged...but you are forgetting that he is young.
He's a lot younger than you which is one of the reasons for the differences in your viewpoints. But three years is QUITE a long time, especially when you have kids in the picture.