Engagement Timing
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 04-13-2004 - 10:21pm |
Considering our ages (especially my boyfriend's age), I feel as though we are able to make logical decisions regarding our relationship. We are old enough and experienced enough to know when a relationship is right. My boyfriend and I have talked about marriage to eachother, and we both agree that it seems like the natural thing to do. He has mentioned that he has always thought he would wait at least a year to propose to someone, just because it seems like a reasonable amount of time to develop such judgement. Considering how our relationships has progresed and our intense feelings for eachother, I want to be engaged at least by the time we reach the 1 year mark.
My boyfriend has a considerable amount of debt. He wants to be able to pay off all the debt before we get married. It will probably take him about 2 years to pay it off. I understand him wanting to enter a marriage debt-free, but that means 2 years until we get married! I don't want to wait that long.
I am in no rush to get married, but I do think about his age and our desire to have a family. I also think about how we could save so much money by living in the same house! The financial incentives of living together are great, as well as not having to travel 25 miles to see eachother everyday.
Would it be unwise of me to bring this topic of concern to his attention? I don't want to seem like I'm in a rush to get married, but I do want to bring up the financial advantages of us being married. Two incomes are better than one! Please voice any opinions or advice you may have!
Thanks in advance.

I would also mentally revise your time frame, as he's told you that 1 year is a *minimum* for him to propose, yet you're thinking you want to be engaged by the time you've been dating for a year.
Glad to hear things are going well for the two of you!
Sheri
From experience I have come to the conclusion that it's a good idea to know someone at least 1-3 years before marrying them, no matter how old you are. Because no matter how great things are going, it's common for things to still be great after only 7 months. Don't worry about his age -- men are able to father children into their 70's and 80's! If he's not worried about it, you shouldn't either.
Please make sure you're also on the same page about finances and financial planning. That is one of the major reasons people end up divorcing.
Congratulations on finding a bf who sounds like he's responsible and level-headed. If I were you I wouldn't bring this up again (not for a long time at least). Seven months is just too short a time to be worrying about it IMO.
Good luck and I wish you both the best. :-)