Eventually the truth came out

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2003
Eventually the truth came out
1
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 8:13am
I met this guy a couple of months ago during rehearsals for a musical. We were getting along so well and things were starting to hot up a bit (although he hasn't kissed me properly yet, there is definitely loads of mutual chemistry).

Suddenly on Sunday morning I get an sms from him saying that he can't offer more than a friendship! I was quite taken aback, but wanted to talk about it. We went for a walk yesterday and the truth came out that he is in a relationship with a girl who lives overseas. She emigrated about 6 months ago and now she is coming back in January. Although he said that he wasn't interested in pursuing a long distance relationship with her, now that she is coming back he wants to stay loyal to her.

He wasn't exactly bursting with anticipation for her arrival. He said that she has been in love with him for 2 years and eventually he decided to give it a try. They were only together about 4 months before she left. Now she wants to come back saying that she has realised where home is... and he was the last reason on her list for coming back. However, he's not sure if she was just saying that to make him feel less pressure from her. Also, he said she's really clingy.

I am disappointed 'cause we really have a strong connection and there have been so few people in life who have been able to speak to my heart and he's one of them. I know I have to believe that things happen for a reason and that if it's meant to be it will be, but my heart hurts so bad.... I know he likes me a lot and this is the first I had heard of the girlfriend. He should have mentioned her earlier... before I got attached :(

Any suggestions of how to handle this would be greatly appreciated. thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 10:29am
First of all, I want to tell you that I am sorry you are hurting. I know what a broken heart feels like, I have been there. You just hang in there.

You should never get involved with a man who is unavailable. Yes, he should have been honest with you from the get go, and for him to lie to you, kind of makes me wonder why you would want to be with him after this anyway.

I am sorry to say, but you need to let him go right now. Let this girl come back and see what happens. It will only hurt you more to remain in contact with him. Let this guy go. You hang in there, and every thing will be just fine.