The ex and the gifts....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2005
The ex and the gifts....
8
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 9:56am

I posted this in Ask Answer man, but I wanted to ask the Dating Doyenne here as well so...

My exboyfriend stopped by last night with belated Christmas presents for me and my two sons. To preface, we broke up early in October, and have had little communication since, however we both still loved each other, at least he said he does/did. Anyway the relationship had come to a point where we needed to do some serious commitment or thinking to forge ahead, and he wasn't really all that willing to compromise so it ended.

Anyway, for Christmas I had dropped off a little gift from the boys and me. Never really heard much from him until New Years when I got an "I havent forgotten about you guys" emai. So he came by last night and dropped off some really thoughtful presents. It wasn't awkward, or uncomfortable, he stayed to show the kids how to use their gifts. Was easy really, and we got along great like always. The only diff was, we weren't "together" anymore.

When it came time for him to leave, was the only uncomfortable moment. So we just hugged goodbye at the door. No talk of lets get back together, no future plans, just thanks so much, and him saying sorry it took so long to get the presents to us.

So I guess the question would be, would a guy walk back into an ex's home, bearing gifts, and spend time with her and the kids, if he wasnt thining about coming back and mabye trying again?

Would you men do this? When I left the gifts, I dropped them off when I knew he wasn't there, because I didnt want to cause problems or put pressure on him, as I wasnt sure if he had been dating, and didnt want to make it awkward. I did not bring the kids as I didnt want to sent them mixed signals, either.

I guess nobody is a mind reader, but just wondering what you guys thought about all of this. And I suppose if he wanted to start again, he would have said something?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 3:15pm

Unless he specifically says, I want to get back together, I would take it that he was giving you all gifts because you gave him one.

YG

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 9:26pm
I'm not a man, but I agree with you, he would have said something about getting back together if he dropped off the presents as an opportunity for a reintroduction.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 9:30pm
Hey YogaGirl, how was your new years eve? did you get to go out?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 9:44pm

It sucked! I came home from California with a sinus infection and I wound up staying home because I couldn't stop sneezing. I am planning on belated celebration with friends in the next week or so. How about you?

YG

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2005
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 9:49pm

He emailed me today, said it was nice to see everyone smile... etc.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see if anything else goes down I suppose.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 7:52am
That sucks, I remember you saying that maybe you would go out and dress up and have some fun. My new year's eve was a quiet night at home. A belated celebration doesn't sound bad, have fun!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 11:46am
Yeah, I wouldn't read too much into this. But if you still have feelings for the guy and he doesn't respond with anything other than a friendship, you might want to cut ties so you can heal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sat, 01-13-2007 - 11:27pm
I would think it denotes some interest but he didn't know how to go about bringing it up without putting himself too much on the line. Or at the least it's not that he wants to reunite but he misses you guys.
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