exclusive relationship
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| Fri, 09-24-2004 - 2:25pm |
We see each other once or twice a week. So far we have a very pleasant dating relationship. We end our dates with pleasant words and a nice kiss. We however don't talk on the phone alot except when he asks me out on dates. We both do the same amount of calling. I don't know if he is seeing anyone else. I have never brought up this subject. However, I am wondering if I should bring it up. I don't want to assume that we are exclusive and it is starting to bug me not knowing because my feelings for him are growing stronger. How can I casually bring up exclusive dating and not scare him? Is it usually the girl who brings up this question? I want to know what he thinks and how he feels but at the same time I don't want pressure him if he is not ready. Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

The only way to know how a man feels about anything is to ASK! This doesn't mean you'll get an honest answer...or even an answer! And frankly, Pianoguy thinks you're trying to rush things!
With only 4 months 'under your belt'---and the fact that the 2 of you are having a great time together (without establishing formal exclusivity), are you willing to risk a rejection? Why do you need to have EXCLUSIVITY this early in the game?
Maybe after a year together? Then you can ask the question. Do you have family or friends "advising you" to get him to commit? If you do...tell them all to BACK OFF!
Timing is everything in any relationship. AND...it takes a man a lot longer to realize that YOU'RE THE PERFECT GIRL! Sooooo......S-L-O-W-D-O-W-N!
Pianoguy
Pianoguy still thinks you're trying to rush the process. Granted...you're afraid of being hurt, but THAT'S THE RISK YOU FACE IN ANY RELATIONSHIP!
If you want to spend your free time with this man and only this man...GREAT!
But remember that NOBODY is pointing cupid's arrow at your body and insisting that you do so. You are trying to get your b/f to think about the relationship the same way you do and (I'm sorry) but MEN DON'T DO THIS! In spite of the fact that the 2 of you are 'communicating and coupling' at a similar pace...it'll take much for your b/f to make up his mind.
So I guess your choice boils down to whether you have the patience enough to wait...or if you want to RISK everything you have now by pushing for "exclusivity!"
To quote singer/actress Reba McIntyre: "IT'S YOUR CALL!"
Pianoguy
"But remember that NOBODY is pointing cupid's arrow at your body and insisting that you do so. You are trying to get your b/f to think about the relationship the same way you do and (I'm sorry) but MEN DON'T DO THIS! In spite of the fact that the 2 of you are 'communicating and coupling' at a similar pace...it'll take much for your b/f to make up his mind."
I may have the definition of exclusive relationship wrong. How do you define "exclusive"? Please explain how men think about relationships. I can't consider him my 'boyfriend' if he is not in an exclusive relationship. I may be looking at this all wrong.
"So I guess your choice boils down to whether you have the patience enough to wait...or if you want to RISK everything you have now by pushing for "exclusivity!"
Does this statement mean that it should be the guy who brings up 'exclusivity'? I should wait for him to bring this subject up?
Thanks again.
IF you are able to establish that you are on the same page with what you want, then you could broach the topic of exclusivity. You could say something like, "I'd prefer that we just focus on dating each other and seeing where that leads" and see what he says.
Sheri
Thanks again.
Edited 9/24/2004 5:41 pm ET ET by faithhopelove86
Edited 9/24/2004 5:43 pm ET ET by faithhopelove86