Face it or Hide?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Face it or Hide?
2
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 3:15am

I'm in a bit of a situation so I'm throwing this out there for advice. I became friends with both the owner and manager of a local resturant close to my home. I freqently go to the there with friends and neighbors and have been for about 9 mos. to a year. Recently, the owner showed interest by being more attentive when I'm there, joining the group for drinks after dinner and inviting me to parties that he was attending. Although the interaction started to progress to outside of the resturant, we didn't officially go on a date. In terms of future plans, we are both going to be in the same destination in two weeks for vacation and made a plan to catch up for dinner. Well, after closing the other night, I got a little tipsy and went home with him (pls. don't judge me). I didn't hear from him so after a few days, I went there for dinner again. He was friendly but didn't make any future plans and acted as if nothing happened and hasn't called to keep in touch. When I left that night, the manager (a different guy) followed me outside to tell me that he thought I could do better than this guy and that he, in fact, had a crush on me and the thought of my dating the owner made him feel compelled to tell me how he feels. He asked for my card and suggested we meet for coffee and chat. Kind of a shocker but I gave him my card. Now I feel uncomfortable going in there and have remorse about "hooking up".

I'm not sure how to handle the situation. Do I go back in there? Do I avoid the place? I'm still a little hurt that the "hook up" didn't result in a phone call or any effort to keep in touch. I wonder how we are going to finalize plans for our vacation dinner. At the same time, I also feel uncomfortable about the other guy, who - by the way - is engaged and is contemplating ending his engagement. It's been a couple days but I haven't heard from either one of them... Do I avoid the place until someone calls or reaches out? Should I stay away and wait and see if the "hook up" follows through on vacation plans? I'm a bit offended by his behavior post-hook up. Or should I do what I usually do and just go there and just put the "hook up" behind me and go back to being friends?

Don't know what to do...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 8:12am

I have no idea what your comfort level is. I don't know whether the owner is still interested although it sounds like his interest level has cooled. If you regularly meet friends at the restaurant and they like it there, then you have no choice if you want to socialize with these people.

Myself, I'd keep my distance from the restaurant, the place seems fraught with personal difficulties, but that is just me and not you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 12:27pm

I doubt there will be a "vacation dinner" with the first guy - if anything, maybe he'll call you when you're both there for another hookup, but I doubt he's interested in much more than that (his actions have proved otherwise).