Father's Day with Boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2006
Father's Day with Boyfriend
6
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 5:11pm
I have a question for you-I have been dating this guy for 5 months now, and things are ver serious. Father's Day is coming up, and he has two children, although he won't be able to see them. I have a daughter who absolutely adores him. Is it ok for me to want to celebrate Father's Day with him, or should I lay back that day?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 6:17pm
IMHO, five months is a very short time to know if "he's the one". Are you totally sure that he thinks the same way as you do, that "things are very serious"? I'd not introduce him to your daughter yet and even less during father's day. She might get confussed, not mentioning how your BF may feel - obligated-. If by any reason things don't work out between you two, your daughter may feel somewhat confussed with male figures coming in and out of her life. If you want get together do so, but not to celebrate father's day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2006
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 5:50pm
Well, it isn't like a normal 5 month relationship. From the start, we were together more than most people, we get along great, and just generally enjoy each other's company. I have already decided that I am going to get him a card-not from my child but from me, acknowleding the fact that he is a father. He feels the same that I do-things are very serious between us. As far as my child goes, she has met him, and absolutely adores being around him. I have never and will not have different men coming in and out of her life. I really don't think she is confused about anything. She just knows that she likes him and has fun when we are all together.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 6:50pm
It seems that you've made up your mind regarding what to do in this matter. Good luck to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 9:23pm
If things are very serious it seems fine to spend that day with him. Plus you can broach it that you know he can't be with his daughters on that date so you and your daughter would be happy if he wanted to hang out with the two of you. If he wants to be alone, then let him know that 's fine with you too.
,
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2006
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 8:09am
Thanks- I definetely agree with that. I have been a little hesitant to bring it up to him, especially because I think it may make him upset, but I definetly need to let him know that I want to spend the day with him. We actually talked yesterday about the fact that he was the "main" male figure in my child's life, and how he's ok with that fact and the fact of how she views him. So, I think everything will go over just fine!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 12:56pm

If I may ask... why can't he be with his own children on Father's Day? Do they live in another state or something? What about your daughter's father?

I think Dating Doyenne's advice was excellent. I agree that you should ASK your boyfriend if he would like to spend Father's Day with you and your daughter. If he says yes, just tell him you'll make some nice plans for the day. But maybe it's not necessary to repeat the part about your boyfriend being the "main" figure in your daughter's life. That might seem like too much pressure, especially if he's feeling bad about not being able to be with his own children.

Good luck.