Feeling Bad

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
Feeling Bad
3
Sun, 01-15-2006 - 1:37am

I met a wonderful woman (1st woman) 2 months ago, went out on a dinner date which lasted 3 hours. She went on a trip over sea after that one date. I contacted her but she didn't really response to my emails. I thought she wasn't interested so when friends introduce me to their friend, I went along to a blind date. This woman (2nd woman) is 8 years younger. The night I went back home, I saw an email from the 1st woman. Since we are just beginning to find out one another, I decided to contact with both woman. Some how I feel that I am cheating on them. I dont think this is cheating but why do I feel so bad? Both have great personality which I like. The first woman is 4 yours younger while the 2nd woman is 8 years younger. The 2nd woman is living in another state so it will be a long distant relationship if we decide to go steady. I am trying to find out who is most compatible with me but in doing so, I feel like I am cheating with both, the 1st woman know about the 2nd woman because she asked me if I am seeing anyone else so I told her about the second woman. The second woman doesn't know about the 1st woman. So I am having a hard time sleeping because I feel like a cheater. What is wrong with me?

Unlucky with love

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
In reply to: deffense_x2
Sun, 01-15-2006 - 2:03am

Do not feel badly.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
In reply to: deffense_x2
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 11:49am

Unless you have agreed to exclusivity with either one, you have done nothing wrong.

I deem you not guilty. Go on with your life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: deffense_x2
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 12:12pm

Hi and welcome to the board! I hope you'll stick around, even after your questions are resolved. :o)


You asked what's wrong with you. The simple answer? Nothing! You're going through what many women go through--guilt over dating. I don't know if it's been bred into us or what, but what I suggest is to date like a man. You don't put all your eggs into any one basket until you are ready to. There is nothing wrong with dating a few people, that's what you should be doing. Think about it like a purchase--would you go out and buy the first house you see? Or would you shop around and look for the best fit for your life? I would think the latter and you'd probably do so without guilt. So long as you do not lead anyone one nor lie to anyone, telling her that she's the only one then there's nothing wrong with it. If you're asked, say you are dating and that's it.


The last thing I want to comment on is how you signed your post "unlucky in love." I believe in self-fulfilling prophecies. If you keep telling yourself that, you probably will be. You're lucky enough to have a choice in dating by having two women, so remind yourself of that.


Hope this helps. Feel free to come back as often as you'd like.


Kerry