finding a single man

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2012
finding a single man
4
Sat, 04-06-2013 - 9:23am

 I just turned fifty and im a devorced lady.and it seem that all men these days want is to txt and hook up for bottie calls. they ae either married or very young .why has this become exceptable for men to think thats all we need? is this the way people date now days? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 04-06-2013 - 10:29am

I think there are some men who find out that you're newly divorced & figure that you're vulnerable and/or missing sex and they can take advantage of that fact.  I don't think most guys are that way.  I'm 55 and I can't say that I've dated a lot since I got divorced 4 yrs ago, but I really haven't had the experience that any of the guys I've dated were like that.  Of course I would filter out those kind immediately.  I think if you make it clear that's not what you want, you'll get rid of that type of man right away and not waste your time.

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Sat, 04-06-2013 - 1:53pm

cuteglasses wrote:
<p> I just turned fifty and im a devorced lady.and it seem that all men these days want is to txt and hook up for bottie calls. they ae either married or very young .why has this become exceptable for men to think thats all we need? is this the way people date now days? </p>

I think they pretty much realize that they don't want the obligations that a full blown relationship demands and there is probably a bit of lingering anger, disappointment and cynisism left over from pound of flesh they had to give up to get out of their last relationship, so they may feel that the terms of what they're willing to offer are alright with them and if the woman doesn't  like it, there's the door... another woman will walk through in 15 minutes.  Not all men feel this way, but I would say through my own experiences with OLD that a majority of those on OLD sites feel this way, which is why I left that game alone.

It's just what it is once one gets to the +50 age range.  Try to make your life fulfilling without a man in it until one who is worthy of you steps up to the plate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sat, 04-06-2013 - 3:23pm

yeah; I would have to agree with Kendake..

I am 58 now and have been on dates since my divorce and rebound relationship since 2008 and the men are exactly like K described.. My dates since about a year and half ago and very few and far between though and I would think its  my age..

Anyway; Yep only thing you can do is go on with your life and find things you like to do and hobbies and hope for the best.. That doesnt always mean though a nice man is going to come along.. He might and he might not but know that if he does you will be able to decipher the good ones from the bad.. Like I say meeting them and walking away if it isnt right is the clue.. Meeting them and staying around when its not good appears as desperation so it is a tough market out there for the 50 somethings.. It is not for the weak or faint of hearts..

I notice that i have developed a thick skin and thinking well its just a date and I am so fortunate that I still get a date here and there (lol) let alone a full blown relationship... It just appears  more challenging as we age..

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Fri, 04-19-2013 - 12:21pm
Are you meeting all these men online or in person? We women need to set the expectations and standards...that being said am encouraging you to stop communicating with any man unless he properly asks you out for a date.