First date after divorce

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
First date after divorce
2
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 4:20pm
I have been divorced since May, and I have meet someone online. We are going to meet in public this weekend,I am nervous about what to say or not say. And what about sex, should I or when is a good time without seeming sluty. It's all new to me again. Any suggestion?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 4:44pm
Is your first meeting for coffee? I think that's a good idea; it takes the pressure off...think of it as just coffee, not a date! Plus, it's short...45 minutes to an hour or so, and that's about the right amount of time for a first meeting from online. The purpose of the meeting is just to see if you hit it off in person (you can't really tell from email and phone calls), then decide if you want to meet again for a "real" date.

I find that small talk about interests, hobbies, jobs, movies, travel, music, etc. works best for a first meeting. You're just seeing if you want to see the person again, not trying to get their life story!

As for sex, unless you're just looking for a fling, then I'd say definitely not on the first meeting, and for me, personally, it works best to date someone for a while (generally 6-8 weeks of regular dates, 1-3 times a week), so that I have a sense that I know the person well enough to gauge their trustworthiness, and also know whether I want to date them exclusively (it's my strong preference to discuss and agree to exclusivity and sexual monogamy before sleeping with someone).

You might try posting on the Online Dating board as well; there are a lot of us who have quite a bit of experience with that medium, and it could be helpful if you're new to it!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 6:15pm
Hello cat_is_lds!