first date nerves

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2007
first date nerves
3
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 1:21am

Hi all,

This is my first time posting on these boards and my question may be slightly silly, but I'm really in need of advice.

I am a 21 year old college student who has been in a serious relationship since the age of 15. Because this serious relationship began for me at such a young age, I have NO experience with dating.

Now that I am single, I have a date set up for this weekend. Although I am considered 'very pretty,' I am entirely self conscious and terrible dealing with guys I am interested in. I tend to seem overly enthusiastic and babble about things I normally wouldn't even care about. Ironically, I am also at a loss for words during the times I should be responding to his jokes or questions.

The guy I am going on the date with is several years older, slightly quirky and very handsome. I have been getting myself very nervous for the past few days. I would love any advice or tips about how to better carry myself on a first date. How does the 'ideal' first date present herself?

Please help! Thanks!
Jenny

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 4:31am

I'm not sure about how you would present yourself as the ideal first date, hehe. I only know how to be me. I haven't been on a real first date for a long time, but if memory serves me correctly men usually like a woman who is genuinely herself. I know you get uncomfortable and nervous. We all do. The key for you, may be less talk and more "listen". Your nerves will calm if you focus on his part of the conversation and ask pertinent questions for him to elaborate. And slowly you can include things about yourself (like if you both share a hobby or a place you both visited or music, movies, books) and he will probably ask questions about you. As you slowly get used to talking to him, you'll find it easier to share.

As you ask him questions about himself - start with general questions - you'll be able to identify more things about him that may cause you to be more curious. so there is always more items to talk about on the phone or on another date.

As far as the physical goes...most men prefer to make the first move in terms of the first kiss (I have no idea why...it just seems that way with men). There have been times when I have sensed that a guy was shy or nervous about it and I made the first move...because I want that kiss dammit!...and it usually works out nice either way.

Good luck on your date!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 5:09am
Listen girl. You are AWESOME. That's all you need to remember. Remember that HE needs to make the case to YOU - ha! Try to relax. If you're babbling, consciously say in your mind, okay, relax. And it'll flow down. BUT if you're naturally just talkative, whatever, just be yourself. Guys love that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 10:07am

Just be your bubbly self - like you're meeting a good friend. But feel free to tell him your situation and that you are a bit nervous given your situation. And do an activity together that the two of you can get wrapped up in - i.e. something sporty - and then you'll really have something to chat about and that will make you feel more in the moment, thus more comfortable.


,