first date-opinion needed

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
first date-opinion needed
4
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 12:08pm
I just met a guy, who I think is pretty incredible...and so different from most guys I've met, which is what is confusing me I guess. Let me share our date. We live about 2hrs apart, so I drove to his town on a Sat afternoon. We drove down to a park and walked along the river. We talked and laughed, I think we both felt a huge connection. Then he took me to a very nice restaurant and we had dinner. After that, we decided to stop at a bar by his place and watched a band for awhile. It seemed we really didn't want the date to end. And he was so sweet and considerate, I was feeling a little spoiled the whole evening. Anyway, we only stayed at the bar for about an hour and he suggested going back to his place and watching a movie. So we did, (had the amazing first kiss there, and lots after that!). After the movie it was almost 3am and he was concerned about me driving home so late. He said I didn't have to drive if I didn't want too, and by then I think we were both pretty tired. So I decided to stay. First off, he didn't "try" anything, which I think is a good sign? I think we both had the feeling that we truly liked eachother a lot. So we cuddled all night, and the next morning went out for breakfast and then layed on his couch and watch TV most of the day, and I left around 3. So it turned out to be the longest date ever, but I think it was probably the best date ever too! And even though I wouldn't have allowed "it" to happen, what does it mean when a guy doesn't try anything the first date? Is it possible he has real feelings for me and wants to take the relationship slow?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 12:29pm
good question...i'm also wondering the same so i'll sit tight and wait for replies much like you

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 12:52pm
I would definetly say yes!

I've dated a lot of guys and I know for sure that when you feel such a great connection with someone and have such a blast on the first date and considering how mellow and sweet it was, the reason he didn't try to have sex with you is because he most likely wants to keep you seriously and see if you can get into something nicer than just a sexual thing.

Actually this happened to me a couple of times and both times after a while the guys told me they didn't try to have sex with me or make out because deep inside they feared that if they tried it I might have given in and they didn't want to rush into that and ruin the potential relationship. You know what I mean? It's like, I'm sure he wanted to have sex, of course! He's a guy and he likes you! But I think he liked you more than a usual one-night stand and he probably wants to give it a try and see if something nicer can develop so he doesn't want to ruin it by having sex on the first date, and I'm sure he didn't try anything because there might have been a chance you gave in. So I would suggest that even if he tries the next time, he's probably testing you so don't give in. I'm not saying play hard to get because you can tell when someone is playing games, but I would say that if you really like this guy and want him to take you seriously, give it some time and see what happens. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 2:39pm
Thank you for that! I think you could be very right, because I think we both really wanted to, but I'm glad we didn't. And I didn't feel pressured. I have a lot of respect for him now. And I feel really good knowing that I didn't drive 2hrs just to be used. That he actually is looking to have a real relationship with someone. Things have been great so far, we talk every night for at least an hour, and we take turns calling eachother so it doesn't get expensive for one person. We'll see how it goes - I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

Thanks Again!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2004
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 2:57pm
hi!

yeah, i think he likes you :) a lot of guys can't keep their paws to themselves whenever they meet a girl they can't seriously like (and love). having sex too early is like being intimate without really being intimate, if you get what i mean. and a lot of guys would mind sharing the night with a girl they just got on the first date with. this guy even took to letting you stay in until the next afternoon!

but i think you have to have sex the next time you stay in ;) just to feel the "connection" a lot more profoundly... if it's there, you'll have fireworks.. you guys have been sharing a lot of personal stuff by talking to each other every night, so you don't need to talk the next time you see each other!! hehe... :)

good luck!