First date went array

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
First date went array
7
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 11:37pm

My friend set me up with a guy named James. James and I talked on the phone since the past Sunday and we made plans for the following Saturday (this past Saturday night). On Saturday afternoon, James called me to tell me he will have his son until 8:00 pm and we could meet at a resturant by our houses at 9:00 (we live pretty close). So at 9:00, I met him at the resturant and we ate dinner. We had a nice a time and while we ate dinner, we discussed what we would do after dinner. He was VERY picky about clubs and it seemed that only one club in the area would do. We went to the ONE club he liked and it was closed! No note. No explaination. It was just closed! I suggested a few other places. but he just said "nah!" Either he didn't like the venues or they were too far.

Finally, he suggested MY PLACE! I told him it wasn't a good idea, because I had tons to boxes in the living room. I'm getting new kitchen cabinets and appliances, so they all had been delivered this week and they literally take over the living room. There is barely a path to walk amist the boxes. But he insisted on coming over.

When he got to my place, he said "wow! You didn't tell me there were THIS many boxes!" I did tell him and I reminded him that I told him of the boxes. But he kept insisting I didn't tell him that the entire living room was filled with cardboard. He had recently re-done his kitchen, and according to him, his kitchen was twice the size of mine, so how could he NOT expect all these boxes? And I raised this point to him. He said the boxes "killed the mood". What mood? I wasn't going to get intimate with him! Nor did I give the impression that I would! I am really p.o.ed that he could be so presumptuous! And that he could accuse me of not telling him my house was not fit for a date, when I did tell him that! Loud and clear! I was adimate about us not going to my house in the first place!
Could he have pigeonholed, the date (with his utra-pickiness, for hangouts), so we'd end up at my place or his and he'd get sex? I haven't heard from him since our date, so I think that's what his motives were.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 7:28am

I don't know what his motives are, but he didn't act like a gentleman! After all, people are supposed to be on their best behavior, especially on a first date. And to complain about your boxes and say it killed the mood wasn't cool.

For what it's worth, when he suggested going to your place, I would have just plainly said "no." I wouldn't have given him any reasons other than to say it just wasn't happening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2005
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 8:14am
If this is how he is on the first date when he is supposed to be trying to make a good impression. It is only going to go down hill from there. I would forget him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 11:49am

Sounds like a close call.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 12:08pm

why on earth would you wantto hear from this boorish, self absorbed jerk again?

,
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 9:51pm

<>

LOL! That was priceless! I'm going to use that phrase in the future!

Anyway, I guess I just didn't want the evening to end at 10:30. We were having such a nice time and great conversation. But he seemed to be manipulating things by his pickiness. Then he acted like it my fault, that I had all those boxes! He is a master manipulater. I told my friend who set us up and she was floored! She had never seen that side of him before. She told me he ususally isn't picky about clubs and bars. I told her how I warned him about those boxes and he accused me of not telling him "just how many boxes were in the house". I hope she says something to him. I don't want to date him again, but since I can't tell him off, she can tell him what a lout he was. She won't exactly tell him he's a lout, but she would say "what was up with your behaviour last week? Ginger told she warned you about the boxes and you pushed your way in there and had the nerve to become angry that the boxes were there!" I hate when people don't get their way, and they make it out to be everyone else's fault.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 6:49am

Be happy the boxes were there, they saved you having to get out of an uncomfortable situation.


But also look beyond the boxes. Any man that asks you on a first date to come over would be a man that I'm a bit wary of. For yourself, next time if a guy asks you to come over, tell him no. You can only be manipulated if you allow yourself to be.


Hope this helps.


Kerry


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 11:03am

Yikes!

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