First disagreement

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2007
First disagreement
3
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 12:03pm
I've been dating someone for 4 months now, and it's gotten serious. We just had our first serious disagreement. We were on a trip, and I was tired and needed to rest. He had other plans and was disappointed that I needed to nap and not feeling well. When I felt better, he was grouchy and quiet and said he no longer wanted to go out. He hurt my feelings, and I didn't like the argumentative tone in his voice. What to do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 1:32pm

legare2007...

Pianoguy has one question: "Is this the first serious spat the 2 of you have had?"

If your answer is YES...let the incident go and keep an eye on your b/f's behavior.
If your answer is NO...and the 2 of you have FOUGHT A LOT........don't accept his proposal of marriage...let alone an engagement ring!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Wed, 03-28-2007 - 10:21am

Pianoguy gives good advice. He demonstrated a lack of empathy, because it could easily have been him who was not feeling well. Since he made sure to let you know that he was disappointed in not being able to carry out previous plans then one has to think "why?"

If he is the type who is manipulative then he will use this experience as an opportunity to make sure that YOU feel responsible for his emotions. And this will be the first of many times you feel you are needing to go above and beyond so that his emotional boo-boos go away. You are not responsible for his bad time. If he wants a mature relationship then there will be times of illness for both parties, let alone children. If he is immature and used to getting his way then you might want to reconsider dating him because this wont go away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 03-29-2007 - 3:20pm
all couples fight - it's part of communication . It's how you fight (i.e.: not destructively) and how you make up that counts as in when it's over it's over - no dragging it around
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