first time in this situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2013
first time in this situation.
3
Mon, 12-16-2013 - 9:40pm

*closed* i talked to her and everything is peachy. thanks for all the advice!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2013

Hi there. You sound like a dream guy to the right woman. Unfortunately, she's not the one. You've done nothing wrong. From the brief past history you've given of her, that's the way she operates. She dates a guy a few months and that's her limit. It doesn't matter what her issues are. They are hers to deal with and she's not a person you can rescue from herself. Just because you have chemistry with someone and enjoy time together, doesn't mean you're right for each other. Two people have to be on the same page about how they want to date or be in a relationship. Don't lie to yourself. It does matter to you that you wanted this relationship to build into something more. It's not going to happen with this wishy washy girl. She can't have her cake and eat it too. Now she wants time with you but you're not special enough to be her one and only. If I were you, I'd go back to being group friends and no longer do things one on one with her. You can explain how you feel to her or you can choose not to, involving this decision. You have a right to decide what's best for yourself. Each moment spent with her is a waste of time, since that time could be spent keeping yourself open to a girl who is as crazy about you as you as of her. 

It's frustrating to like someone so much but they're beyond your grasp. I've been there, as most people have. You can have your good memories of her but know someone better out there is waiting just for you. Good luck.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010

  Look when people are telling you what is up do not analyze. Take everything at face value.  Going to dinner was not a "date" to her it was just being with a friend.   Remember it is her defination and all the baggage that come from the label of a "date"  is too much for her to handle.  Your perdicament is not unique.  It happens a lot.  Just be friends .  If she changes her mind you will know but be aware that she may always blow hot and cold. 

Goldfish

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2013

Ive been asking around multiple sites and although short, this was the best advice! Everything was great untill I put so much emphasis on the "date". I didnt realize the baggage, expectations, etc that came with it. Thanks and keep on helping people! :)