Hi Doyenne,
I really like this guy I met him when I was sixteen but my parents did not approve of him because I told them that he smoked weed at the time. He has stopped now because of his job. He told me that he expected sex sooner or later in a relationship(three years ago) and I told him I wanted to wait until I was married. We talk a few times a year. However, I am the one who always calls him. We talk for a little while I try to ask him questions but he is very secretive about things like if he has a girlfriend. I know if we tried to have a relationship it probably would not work because my parents think I can do better ( I want to please my parents because they do so much for me but I feel like I have no control over my life especially in the relationship realm.)and I'm not sure if I am ready to have an intimate relationship because I am a church going girl and want to do whats right despite what I want to do. I really like him and he is the only guy I think of being intimate with though. Sometimes I feel happy just talking to him and being there for him. I feel like an idiot because I waste my time on him. I try dating other people and forgetting him but he is always on my mind. I always felt if I could have gone out with him and not even dating but hanging out and talking that I would not obsess over him as much as I do. I can't deny my feelings for him like I have been tring to do these past couple of years. Its like when I hear his voice I feel lighter and happier. I know its pathetic but if I could just see him one last time before I go off to college it would really make my day. I'm sorry my message is so long but I really have not been able to get this off my chest until now.
Thank you very much for your time.