Former-boss...inappropriate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2007
Former-boss...inappropriate?
4
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 8:53pm

My boss recently left his job, and over the course of the last few weeks (since he has left the company) our friendship has been on the fast-track to something romantic. I'm so confused about whether or not I should put an end to this, or let it happen!

Our working relationship was one of over three years, and due to the nature of our work, it went beyond the normal scope of a job. We travelled often together (always with other people) and due to the abnoramlly long-hours of our field, we spent more time together than most people do with their co-workers. Still, it was always professional, and we both respected our roles within the company.

A few weeks ago, he left his job. I, however, have remained with the company and hope to do so for a long time. This is my dilemma! Even though I like this person a lot, I do not want to jeopardize my place within the company. I am afraid people will speculate that something scandalous was going on before he left his job, and it may affect my future place in the company. Is this just paranoid, or is it smart?

I feel very close to this person and think there is a chance this could be something special, but I also know that people would talk and it could cause a lot of drama. Should I cut things off while they are still innocent, or should I let myself give this relationship a shot?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 11:44pm

Personally, I don't see anything wrong with it (assuming of course there isn't more to it i.e. he's a ridiculously older than you or married or something). I admire the fact that he waited until he left the job before making any sort of move. I also don't see how your work could hold it against you. 1) Things *didn't* happen when he was working there and even if they suspected that they had, they couldn't prove it. 2) Again even if that were the case (which I understand that it wasn't) obviously it didn't interfere with your ability to work together plus it would appear that he had done the right thing by leaving the company anyway. Bottom line is that PLENTY of people meet and have met their significant others through work. Companies develop these policies in the hopes that any fraternization that goes on either doesn't become evident or a problem in the work place. I think if you *really* like this person and think this could really develop into something, I wouldn't pass it up. If you're so concerned, perhaps wait a while before you are open about the relationship. Good luck!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Tue, 04-17-2007 - 9:34am
I would date him, but refrain from announcing anything at your work place until you see whether things gel between you and him, that is if you are concerned about stirring up the pot.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
Tue, 04-17-2007 - 11:18am

I'm currently dating the co-worker I sat next to for a year before I left the company. He is the love of my life... I second what snafu said. Talk to him about how you feel and don't make an announcement until you guys are fairly established. It sounds like he's got good boundaries (since he waited until he left to ask you out) so I'm sure it won't be a problem with him.

Go have fun!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 3:30pm
Obviously you need to behave in a way that makes you comfortable but you know you were above board while you worked together, neither of you is attached to anyone else or working together anymore - if you work and behavior in the office is exemplary and your ex boss didn't do "favors" for you - it seems fine to me.
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