Foul language

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2005
Foul language
5
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 6:51pm
I have been going out with a guy for a bit over a year and in the past couple months he has started referring to making love as "#@*$". I have asked him not to but he continues to the point where it feels insulting. I don't understand why and what to do about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
In reply to: clb1234
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 7:28pm
I would put my foot down and be more FIRM. No sensible guy would keep repeating something if he really cared about his girls' feelings and sensibilities. Yes, it would be insulting to me too. I am sure you are not alone. How is he in "other" areas of your relationship? Does he make a good boyfriend? Do you really feel cared for by him. Or do you think he is turning into something else? And when making love, is it always the wham-bam kinds, or does he REALLY make you feel loved.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
In reply to: clb1234
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 8:26pm

Did you tell him that you feel insulted when he used this terminology? If so, the next time he uses these words, tell him that it is a big turn-off and you might not feel like #%$#@#$.

I think he will change his ways very quickly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
In reply to: clb1234
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 10:42am
Some men find it a turn-on to utter obscenities during sex. I was with a guy like this and he overdid it and anyway he only wanted sex so he dumped me. But there are people in ongoing relationships who do this as a form of sex play. The important thing, which is obvious, is that it is consensual.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: clb1234
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 1:57pm

Have you asked him why he feels the need to refer to it that way, does he understand why you don't like it= that you consider it demeaning? If this guy doesn't feel the need to act in a respectful, caring manner when you keep requesting it - well, that's good information to have.


But try to have a real sharing, genuine communication about the underneath to this -

,
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
In reply to: clb1234
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 5:18pm

Hmmm, I don't know if this is a case where he is intentionally using this foul language because, deep down, he gets some kind of thrill out of annoying you or shocking you.

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