Friend of a friend
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| Wed, 08-03-2005 - 11:48pm |
A year ago, I met a guy named Mike through my friend Steve. Mike had broken up with his long time gf a few months prior to that. Mike showed interest in me, but I had just broken up with my bf of three years, so I really did not want to get involved with anyone at that point. But Mike would come out with Steve and I and would hang around me an was really fun. He was constantly around, calling me and asking me out, but with the gang (not a date on our own). Before long, I started to like Mike, so I asked him out on a date. He said yes at first, but cancelled two nights prior, because his brother from Florida was coming to town. I wanted to say "didn't you know last week that your brother was coming to town?". I checked with Steve on this tid bit of info and he told me that Mike did have a brother in Florida, but Mike did not mention he was coming for a visit.
Then I found out that he had given me a cell phone number instead of a home phone number. I found out he lived home with parents. Steve told me, he doesn't like to tell too many people. Allrighty then. The man is 37 and still lives at home. I decided not to call him again.
He called me and asked me on a date. He went into a long winded explaination as to why he had given only his cell phone number and that the only other line was his mother's line. After much deliberation, I accepted the date. Saturday night came and we arrived at the club, only to be greeted by a bunch of his other friends. Steve wasn't there. I called Steve and told him all about this. Steve said Mike told him he was planning on "getting together with me and his friends". He said he was invited, but he didn't go because he already had plans.
Once again, I decided not to bother with him. Over the past six months he called and called again and I did not return his calls. He told Steve how much he liked me and he would "love to work something out". Of course, Steve told all this to me. So I put him to the test. Several weeks ago, I took him up on another of his offers for a date. You guessed it, a bunch of his friends were there (Steve wasn't there again). I said "I thought this was a date". He said "I'm sorry, but it's Kyle's birthday! The big 3-0!" I told him I could have used that information in determining whether or not it was a good night for a date. These friends were nothing but a bunch of drunken hooligans! I did not have a good time at all. The next two dates he intitiated, he cancelled. Then 2 weeks ago, Steve and I went to our favourite pub to see a band. And guess who shows up? Mike! He apologised for cancelling the last two dates said "I promise, I will call you and we'll go out". I said "oh really? I've known you a year and the date still hasn't materialized!" He snapped "forget it then!" and walked away. Now he is calling me all the time and leaving long winded messages. I feel like answering the phone and telling him off or e-mailing him and reminding him of his antics.
I know I should not even TRY to have a relationship with this flake, but I am EXTREMELY baffled as to why some guys play these games. IMO, it takes waaaaay too much energy and is a complete waste of time.


gingersnapelle...
It's clear that MIKE doesn't know the meaning of the words: "follow-through" and "maturity!" But there are members of the female sex who have reacted in a similar manner.
The only difference is....women can BLAME their behavior on a "hormonal imbalance!"
Since it's clear from your post that STEVE is the guy you're "tighter with" (at least in the friendship department)...forget about the fact that Mike acts like 13-year old---even though he's 'housed in the body of a 37 year old!'
Pianoguy
You are so right. Steve (who IS a mature guy who follows through with plans) keeps asking me what's the deal with Mike. I tell him "you tell ME. You know him better than I do". He keeps urging me to give Mike another chance. I said "no. I've given him plenty of chances. More than most girls would give. And he keeps flaking out on me!" I
Forgot to mention. I was supposed to meet him at a sports bar to watch the NBA playoffs. He never showed up, I watched the game with some of the regulars that I sort of know. Steve knows about this story also. But he keeps making excuses for his behaviour. I told Steve "no way am I putting up with his unreliableness. If he is this unreliable now, imagine what would happen if a relationship developed!" I asked him if HE would put up with this nonsense from a girl. He said "well I have. I put up with it all the time with the girl I'm seeing now". I told him "well, if you have a long fuse, that's your business. My time is too valuable. Days off are like boullions of gold (I work a lot of hours). And unlike you, I am looking for something long term and Mike is not someone I can build a future with". Steve finally agreed that it probably wouldn't work between Mike and me.