friend or more?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
friend or more?
5
Sat, 03-31-2007 - 12:19pm
I met a guy about 2 months ago now, actually we met online, and me meeting him went against all principles i have about online meetings. But we seemed to click so well. Well 2 months later, we hang out about 3x a week. we have so much in commmon, we have fun, we have the same dreams and aspirations and hopes for the future. ive never met a more sweet, funny caring man, and after going on a day trip together to a big city, i realized that i could see myself with him - basically i think i am falling for him. but the problem is that we are only friends, we didnt meet with the intention of dating, we just wanted to hang out and have fun. we have never kissed, or done anything in an intimate matter. we've hugged, thats about it, and i cannot tell if he might have feelings for me. basically, should i wait it out and see where our friendship goes? should i say something to him? (but would this ruin our amazing friendship?) i have my friends all giving me different answers and i am totally at a loss as to what to do, help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Sat, 03-31-2007 - 4:48pm
IMHO, if after 2 months of hanging out you haven't even kissed I'd venture to say that the guy is a "nice guy" who is looking for a pal to hang out and travel with...you. If don't feel happy with the arraingment then peak up and ask him what his intentions are...friends or more...you'll have your answer. Waiting to see what happens will be a waste of time, as he can't read your mind.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Sat, 03-31-2007 - 9:08pm
It really depends on what you really want from this relationship. Can you really be friends with this guy or willyou always hope for more? If what you want is romance, and he hasn't made a move towards you in that manner, then you can bringup the subject or kiss him on the cheek "good bye" one night and see how he responds to it or let him go. Usually if a guy has an interest in a woman, he'll make a move of some kind.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
Sat, 03-31-2007 - 11:23pm

I would mention your feelings to him. He may be thinking the same about you and is worried about losing the friendship as well. I've met a lot of guys who actually become incredibly shy around women they are interested in.

If you guys are good friends, then it shouldn't ruin anything. I think at worst it may create a little awkwardness if his feelings aren't the same as yours, but that will fade in time.

A cute story that I like involves my college roommate and her boyfriend. They had been friends for years and loved to hang out together. One night, the guy (who was only a friend at this point) turned to her suddenly and said "Did you ever think about us going out?". She said she did, but they were both in other relationships at the time so the conversation ended. Months later, when they were both available again, they hooked up.

I say take a chance and go for it. At least you'll know. I hope you guys get together, but it might be wise to think about your reaction should his response not be what you want to hear.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 11:47am
I'm sure you meant this for angel_town, but you posted it under my post.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
Mon, 04-02-2007 - 5:49pm
Sorry. I think you brought that up before too. I just get lazy.