Friendly "chit chat"??

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Friendly "chit chat"??
1
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 1:32pm
There's an acquaintance I am interested in (John) & I am trying to decide if I should tell him. I believe at one point he was interested in me but I was in a long-term relationship at the time (which ended several months ago - boyfriend cheated).

Given I was in an "emotional state" after my relationship ended, John & I sort of had a "falling out" & perhaps I scared him off (long story). Maybe he thought I was on the rebound as I had said/done some things to him that I shouldn't have which I regret.

It's been a few months since our "falling out" & we haven't spoken since. I've wanted to talk to him, but I am very shy/reserved, not to mention embarrassed by my actions, so I've kept my distance. We hang out at the same night spots & we'll occasionally say hi in passing, exchange "the looks," but that's it.

Recently though, it seems John is being more & more friendly w/my "circle of friends," he'll make small chit chat w/them in passing but I take it as he's just being friendly. However, my one guy friend of who John does not know personally but has seen me out w/many times, runs into John at a local bar (I was not there) & they end up "shooting the breeze." I don't know who approached who but I guess John was just being friendly.

A few nights later, I'm out w/my friends (and the guy friend) at a local bar. John shows up & soon after comes over to where my friends & I are sitting, he stands next to me, kisses me on the cheek, says a few friendly words then goes back over to his friends. About an hour later, he comes back to say good-bye, gives me another kiss on the cheek & then leaves.

My friends tell me that I am unapproachable & I am difficult to "read" and I am always surrounded by a group of people, talking with friends, etc., so is it possible John is trying to "break the ice" via my friends or he just being friendly period. I would like to pursue things w/him but I guess I am just nervous/unsure or maybe he's just not interested period.

Any feedback is appreciated.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 2:30pm
Unless you told him at some point that you were NOT interested in him romantically (or did something that would lead him to believe that), then I would assume that he is just interested in being platonic friends with you, because if he were interested in you romantically he'd ask you out.

If you did tell him you weren't interested, then you need to talk to him and let him know that you've changed your mind and you're now open to "more".

Sheri