Friends with Benefits?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Friends with Benefits?
2
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 8:35pm
I dated a guy during April, and it went pretty fast- we were sleeping together 7 nights a week the whole month! We broke up because it was too intense and he wasn't over his ex.

May through July, we hooked up for about a week a month- but he would get prickly after a while and we'd stop seeing each other. Around the end of July, we had a real talk about what was going on; he said that he did not have romantic feelings for me, and he kept breaking it off because he didn't want to hurt me. I told him I was okay with us being friends that had sex.

Since then he has been very warm, caring, cuddly, and emotionally open with me. I'm frankly confused. Does he actually have feelings for me but doesn't want to commit to a relationship, or is he being a great guy minus the romantic relationship part? He's gone on dates with other people during this time, but each one for no more than a week or two.

-Helen

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 8:41pm
Why do so many women seem to think that guys should be MEAN to them if they are in an FWB??? We see this so many times on this and other boards...he says he doesn't want a serious r'ship but he's NICE to me! Um, hello, just because he doesn't want a r'ship with you other than FWB, doesn't mean he can't LIKE you and treat you nicely!

No, he does not have feelings for you beyond what he's told you. There is no need for confusion on your part. If you WANT more, then you need to end it, now.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 8:45pm
Hi,

I think he is being cuddly and warm now because you have taken the pressure off.... you have agreed to being a friend he can have sex with and no obligations. He has it made, he can see you and others with no fear of getting caught or guilt for doing so. I just hope you are really okay with being friends with benefits because more often then not, women get emotionally attached and that's where the problems and heartaches begin. I know exactly how that feels. Good luck. Lucy