Friends with Benefits? Maybe no

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Friends with Benefits? Maybe no
6
Sun, 03-12-2006 - 10:41pm

Maybe you can all help me out here in settling a difference of opinion with a friend of mine. My friend has this guy shes been seeing, and according to her they are just "friends with benefits". Now in the beginning, I would agree with her on that. But this guy has started calling her every single day for the past month. To me thats not a friends with benefits relationship, I think this guy has feelings for her. Ive told her she needs to be honest and deal with this.

So what do you all think, daily phone calls, sounds to me like he's looking for more than a friends with benefits relationship????

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 6:49am

In my experience, daily phone calls mean nothing. If the expectations have been set for an FWB, unless someone says otherwise it's dangerous to believe that there is more to it than that.


Hope this helps.


Kerry


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 7:01am
I have to say that I am in the same situation almost, been seeing a guy for about 2 months, we just started being FWB 3 weeks ago before it was just friends, but he calls everyday we are together on the weekends, he comes to me softball games i go to his, he bring his little boy out to see my parents on the weekends... But yet.... he is not ready to be "boyfriend/girlfriend" So maybe the one who said unless it is actually spoken about... asume just BFW!
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 11:14am

Unless he has SAID that he wants to change the parameters of their relationship, the behavior means nothing without intent.

Guys can call every day, meet your family, act like they are your bf, etc...but unless the *intent* to be in a relationship is there, the behavior means nothing, and your friend would be foolish, IMO, to rely on it as meaning anything other than he likes to talk to her (i.e., the "friends" part of FWB).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 11:19am

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There is only one way to find out. Ask him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 7:27pm
Daily calls could mean he wants daily sex and nothing more.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 9:55pm
Somewhat agree. But could be not. I had same type of relationship and we talked a lot. That's were the 'friends' part comes in! But 'most' people naturally, have a hard time with this type of relationship. We say we can deal with it (the way we 'want' to deal with it---but we're human. Personally, I feel she should talk to her 'friend' about the possibility that it may be more, and address this accordingly.